till the true night falls
close not thy comely eyes
close not thy comely eyes, nor weep, my love
at the passing of the day, its shadow
pleas’d to spy the moon winging like a dove
in the night before kissing of thy brow.
anon its light wanes, bewitch'd by thy mien,
Still I lie, desireth of thy soft gaze
thy breath a compact that thou yet remain
till the matin's soft glow sets thee ablaze.
morning light, caress my love with thy touch
with splendor's might her renew'd visage shine
for she I love more than this fleshly crutch
and vow'd to death with her I wouldst entwine
till the true night falls and bids her follow,
part'd when no time remains to borrow.
About the Creator
John Cox
Twisted teller of mind bending tales. I never met a myth I didn't love or a subject that I couldn't twist out of joint. I have a little something for almost everyone here. Cept AI. Aint got none of that.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Standing While Falling
Quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche "He who wrestles long with monsters should beware lest he himself become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Man is not destroyed by suffering, but by the meaning he makes of it."
By LUCCIAN LAYTH4 days ago in Critique
Comments (13)
I appreciate how you sustain a consistent tone of devotion and longing throughout the piece. The structure mirrors the careful attention and reverence for your subject.
Impressive Sonnet with its quaint language. I especially like: “ pleas’d to spy the moon winging like a dove in the night before kissing of thy brow. anon its light wanes, bewitch'd by thy mien,” I’m still trying to pluck up the courage to attempt to write a Sonnet.🥹
My word - this is simply masterful, John!! You are so absolutely adept at this antique style - bringing life to words which seem to carry the weight of feelings across time. That last line will stick with me - "when no time remains to borrow..." I'm in awe, my friend!!
Like the loyalty between the moon and the earth.
You've done a fantastic job with the language and conveying romance in this piece. I absolutely love it.
Well-wrought! The last line, reminiscent of "living on borrowed time", really brings the whole piece together. Being but the expression of our movement through space, we might wonder if it is not time which borrows us, only to return us worn and wearied!
I commend your ability to lead with nothing but tenderness in the first line. '...Winged like a dove' I couldn't leave the third line without finding a favourite. That is how good you are at writing sonnets. 'Bewitched by thy mien' speaking highly of another never sounded so good, until I read this line. 'till the matins soft glow sets thee ablaze' am I allowed to blush at this line? Oh my ghost it's good. The last line I understood too. As if it were the only line, without context, it would pull through. Absolutely fantastic! 🤗❤️
Yep! You did it again! Top Story, Vocal.media?
I believe the youth of today don’t know what true Romance really is. Boy they sure did back then and you’ve captured that feeling perfectly. Expressing one’s love and affection so openly without bashfulness. Can you imagine what the world could be if people thought of others in this way again. Wow
oh you... old romantic asshole, this is perfect! as ever the language takes us right back and the flow is smooth and rhymes roll off the tongue naturally. well done. I actually tried and published my first sonnet... it is... different
Awww, this was so sweet and lovely! Such a beautiful poem!
This poem is so beautifully Shakespearean, John! I loved it!
Beautifully written, such a timeless, romantic flow.