Thorns of The Sword

The silence is deafening...This pain is vast,

Oh so limitless, my stupidity,

But it is not you I can talk to,

for our paths though 1 from the start

branched long ago.

Although you refuse to see, I can no longer see you,

for the distance has grown worlds apart.

Before we parted ways,

We left each other our arms to give the illusion

that we are still on the same path,

And though I struggle to break free,

yours clasped shut & I cannot escape.

For me to escape would open your eyes,

& only break you again.

For me to open your eyes, you will shatter,

For you to realize I stifled my truth,

& disallowed many untailored words to part my lips.

I only allowed you to hear the altered words,

Designed specifically for the purpose of not breaking you.

In doing so, I allowed us to live a lie.

I fed your illusion, ...your denial.

Because everytime I tried to break the illusion with the inevitable thorns of truth,

you shut down & again I realized my truth was too much for you to take...

So as you walk willingly with the blindfold on,

Just know that Ihave lived protecting you

& only allowed this pain inside to grow

because my fear of instability was too great.

This pain inside was not your fault,

It is my own.

Soon...inevitably soon,

I will shatter your world of illusions against my wish, against your wish,

You cannot walk tall when stumbling through life with an illusion of leprechaun's treasures,

And as much as I would love to shield you

& keep my sword pointed at those who have questioned me, questioned us,

Ultimately, I cannot thrive if I live with these lips sown shut

& this sword I built to protect our illusion will be raised once more at the one I never wanted to hurt.

For you have done so much forme from the start until our paths parted and we took up arms...

Its time to lay to rest these defenses,

Acknowledge our peace no longer lies in trying to hold on to a memory,

but in allowing us with love to walk away & grow...

I love you ..

From whence our eyes met

2007

To taking up arms together

2010

From whence we were born

Dec 25, 2011

To binding our hearts upon this journey

Dec 9, 2012

Since the beginning of the crossroads

Sep 13 2014

From whence we truly died but still tried our best to hang on

July 4th 2015

Yet still tried to seal the shreds of illusion

Aug 23 2017

& Time finally gave way & the illusion was crumbled for good.

Feb 1, 2018