This is me

Hi, my name is Dominique. I am 20 years old, I have had bad and good in my life. I want to share my feelings as I know somewhere out there someone could be going or have gone through the same thing.

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Poetry a beautiful ART

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Many people in my life,

I knew I shouldn't have picked up the knife,

Watching as I slide,

Many depending on me, Why?

Throwing my feelings aside,

Working and watching as others collide,

Wanting nothing more than to give up and cry,

I can’t; I don’t want to just blink an eye.

Writing I think of art,

Beautiful while I slowly fall apart,

Using nothing but my god given heart,

Filled with love from the start.

Eyes making tears,

What am I doing here?

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Touch

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Hungry, but not for food.

Wanting and needing both of you.

My skin, not touched in a loving way,

Enough to even be okay.

No one was there,

So I was touched in a different way.

I don't pray, but oh how I did,

All those horrible days, so it would go away.

Stuffed down inside cuz everyone would say,

No way you're lying you just want them

Thrown away,

Well yes I do because,

Now I'm broken in more than one way.

Not enough attention so I search for a touch in anyway.

Skin to skin. Soft or hard. Anywhere anyway.

Just because I didn't get that attention

From my family I needed every single day.

Now too late because now it's unsettling unless they say.

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She

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Don’t look at the time as it passes,

Put down those glasses.

I sit and write; feeling the pain inside,

No one in sight.

She who is neat and clean,

Telling me; the teacher to get away from the screen,

Sometimes so much stress I can just scream.

Hours too long to bare,

Screen blank as I stare.

Too many people for me to hide,

Limping from side to side,

Again wanting nothing more than to cry.

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What they do not know

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Why are you sad?

They always ask,

Listening to my music on full blast,

No reason for the emptiness inside,

At least not enough to explain why,

All I do is sigh.

Pulling my head up from below,

No one here knows.

Wanting all the pain to go away,

Nothing to say.

Sitting here with tears in my eyes blind,

Slowly starting to unwind,

I look forward to happiness that will last,

It will be hard to hold onto life's grasp.

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I am always here

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Knowing well of how you feel,

I have been in the same kind of deal,

Not knowing who is, or when things; are truly real,

All sad about dad,

We all share that scare,

Needing and wanting the love; that is sadly not there.

Blinded by all of his own pain,

Making it bad for everyone; an emotional rain,

I am here,

I know daddy shouldn't be drinking beer,

He is not near

Making that very clear.

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Lost

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Seen by some; only skin and bone,

Nowhere to call my home,

Taken by girl or guy,

Depressed not caring why,

Numbing myself with any kind of high,

Finding love in the end,

Burning bridges of my so called friends,

Wondering what I could have done,

Why my heart feeling like it has been stung,

Walking, eyes down biting my tongue,

I am way too young,

Why worry of those who took advantage,

I just need to manage.

Those who talked soft and slow,

Holding me when I had nowhere I wanted to go.

All of this pain stuck in my brain,

All I want is to feel my heart,

Taking this pain turning it to art,

Knowing well I could easily get torn apart.

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My fault or yours?

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It hurts getting stabbed in the back,

Waiting for a break down,

A heart attack,

Talking stupidly in the act,

Not knowing any fact,

Throwing me out like a dirty rat,

No second thought; just lack,

I lost any kind of respect in that!

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Sunny day

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Looking at a beautiful sunny day just because you have ran away,

Doesn't mean I will be having a horrible, crappy day.

I have gone through this always sad,

But you are this way as my dad.

I have come to terms that you will not change.

Yes, you are my dad, and you used to make me sad

But not today on this very beautiful day.

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Moving

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Needing motivation to be me,

Feeling only halfway free,

Hoping that I only need a shopping spree,

Looking at the clock, yes it is three,

Tired of the being the same,

It feels like one big game,

Smiling on the go,

Sometimes slow,

Just trying my best,

Flowing like the rest.

I should be happy,

Lately I’ve just been snappy.

My life, my choice,

I move freely with my own voice.

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Daddy

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You can’t hurt me anymore,

That's what I say,

This is not a fun game,

Who are you to blame,

It is always the same.

Let me get this right,

You seem to be on some kind of strike,

Riding on your almost broken bike,

Drinking anything with a spike,

Is it out of spite?

I miss you, I need you,

I want to see you, I want to hear you,

I want to be around you.

Everyone else does too.

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I try

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I tried to understand,

Tried to hear you,

Tried to see you,

I even tried to be you,

But I can’t.

This is made by your choices,

Your little voices.

Telling you to do wrong,

All you do is listen to that remade song.

Why must you be the bad guy,

Not even once batting your eyes,

Always hanging around the wrong type of guys,

Don’t you love us enough to be there as we grow up?

I know it hurts to think about this stuff,

You don’t need to give up!

Just because you choose some “cup of real good stuff”,

You end up in some kind of cuff,

Caged away from the ones you love,

No matter who speaks with a hug.

Only you can save your broken heart.

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Dark cell

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I fell off the tracks of life

when I had to finally tell,

Tell what had happened to me in a metaphorical cell,

Something I know I should not dwell,

But it's in me,

Just as water in a deep dark well.

I tried my best to stay away in my shell,

but I was cracked open and put into a hell;

That never seemed to go well.

I just wanted to be free,

flee from what stung me like a venomous bee.

I never did make a sound,

Never did fight back,

I just sat there and let it happen in a snap.

Every time I knew it was going to happen,

Should have never gone back in.

Knowing no one would believe,

In what I had to say about that.

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Title

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I like the feel of the keys under my fingers,

The words flowing out of me like a river,

The feelings I share with those who read,

It just has some kind of beauty.

An art in writing form,

Needing time to mourn.

I still don’t fully understand it,

But I will learn and get better as my life changes and progresses.

I gave this beauty away, cleared the mess,

Hoping that it would help me to be less depressed,

I’m still unsure about what can truly clean the best.

Things that help me breath,

Having a clean living environment,

Doing the cleaning yourself,

Drink water, especially in the morning,

Eat a HEALTHY breakfast,

Wake up at the same time everyday.

Surround yourself with people you like and have a good influence on you.

Wright out your feelings

Or speak them with someone you trust.

Keep a schedule

Don’t stress over little things

Don’t do too much all at once.

It is okay to ask for help

Forgive people, let go of the past.

Life is the only thing that might last.

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Feeling the day

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The sun is yellow; my mind some days mellow

The grass is green; I have the need to scream

The bark on trees is brown; I try not to frown

The sky is blue; life sometimes feels like glue

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Family is life

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Family they mean so much to me,

My sister is many things but knows me best.

She can make my life a complete mess,

She can make my life a heaven made nest.

My best friend my worst enemy

Giving me happy energy.

Going through most of the same things

We both have memories that sting.

Dancing as we both scream and sing.

Staying up till 1 am

Cleaning and playing around, all of us homebound.

She would stay inside,

I ran and wanted to be forever outside

Showing off my little one (cheeto my lizard “son”)

I miss the days where she could make any day fun

Feeling less pain; going numb.

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Everyday thought

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I love you with all my heart, all my soul,

I have watched my actions

I am not perfect, no one truly is.

I know I have imperfections

I acknowledge them,

Just as I acknowledge the imperfection of those who surround me.

Do I comment on them, no.

I try to be kind to everyone,

I know in a safe unhearing environment I may speak out of judgement,

But I realized afterwards I did not enjoy what I had said.

For what is life without love and kindness?

Madness, war, nothing.

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Paralyzed

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My breath it stops

Anxiety and her heavy rocks

My mind the box

Body becoming extremely hot, dancing like a fox

Please do, knock.

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WHO TRULY KNOWS

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Life isn't what has you down,

You are the decider of how you look at this world,

You are the one who chooses the next word,

You can sit silently in pain,

Or you can scream out anyone's name.

What am I supposed to do?

I am stuck,

Lost.

Unsure on what my next move will be.

New job maybe, but will it truly help?

Will I be satisfied or even more miserable?

Will you stop with so much of a drug in front of me?

I’m trying to be good, it is so hard when it's happening all around me!

Where is he, what is he doing,

Will he come back this time,

Or will he choose you again?

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Strong

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I am strong but it still hurts me,

When you do all this wrong.

It hurts me everyday like a

Never Ending song,

Always seeming to be gone,

Without taking very long.

I am done.

Done, with following along.

You, not knowing how much of a fool you've become,

I feel like I always have to bite my tongue,

You make it hard to say something,

Making me feel like you have a gun,

Make me feel like you're the one who has won,

But really you haven't and should be

Shunned.

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Grandmas Page! (LOVE YOU)

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Grandma I love you. Some days you are in pain and feeling blue,

but I am here for you.

I know you have a clue how much I love you, But I want to tell you that it's as strong as super glue.

I hope that the doctors have helped you so that you don't pee whenever you find an open spot with a tree, I know if it was me I wouldn't like to always feel the need to go pee, running to the bathroom as fast as a bumble bee.