This is Me

I am a harbinger of peace –

outwardly –

to those who do not know me;

a diplomat

between worlds I fear I hardly know.

I am quiet

so I am good.

When I am loud

I am selfish.

These traits, a duty

of my youth;

a child I’ve long since abandoned;

now a fugitive I harbor in secret.

So now I am angry.

Serving my purpose

in a world that does not see me.

I am hidden,

away from a world

I fear will invade me.

I am a creator;

a keeper

of mine and my own;

a nurturer of the future

that frightens me so.

I am controlled by that fear,

but also by love.

I am a number

on a scale;

in a ledger.

And then I am forgotten.

I am all at once

what is projected onto me,

and all the things

I tuck away.

But what I most certainly am not

Is who I have yet

to become.