This Is How I Find You

The liver works incessantly breaking

the bonds open, breaking open the bonds

The yeast breaks open sugar crystals searching

Had you forgotten my love? We're still searching

The liver works, hoping and hardening

Hardening and hoping, looking for you

A fatty organ dressed in mourning garb

In burnt incense and moonscape livery

Bilirubin foam bats internal shores

Corrupts integrity of cell walls

I'm polishing them trying to find you

.

I've seen the others searching in their way

Some farther, some nearer to their own shades

But this is how I find you

.

When the faithful grass comes bounding underfoot


I pet his shaggy coat and praise his green

I watch the moon rolling drolly on the hills

of time, never tiring of her game

I see placid clouds, albino sea cows

Grazing and gently panning through blue

Can you ever hear our voices through the rain?

.

On cosmos blown breath of winter stars

Our earth, cocooned in ozone grape skin thin

I draw pale blinds over absinthe-steeped eyes

Searching for shades of inner peace-spun light

These hues from cave wall pigments I translate

To canvas stretched over sanded frame

Neurotransmission voiced through timid brush

Solvent evaporates... beetle-shelled paints

Mind flaring - meteor scraping, lightless

Striving, circling globules into themselves

Spiralling

I draw closer

.

When I find you, I'll become a mother whale

I'll keep you buoyed on my back until

Pigment by pigment you disintegrate

Go back to the seas knowing how I called

I can't guide you now but keep going

There's a search party out there

They know your name

.

I've been meditating

In every way I've been meditating

This is how I find you

.

In how my knuckles trace across the trees

Ancestral bark of wrinkled fisher hands

In how my thigh expands, a tugging knot

Against the silken tread of time, running

Meditating

Beyond the reach of where my legs can carry

Light-spun ball of knotted muscular strength

This is how I find you

.

In how my tongue buds bloom in the lung breeze

Searching for you in every atom charge

In every scoop of air I'm blessed to breathe

Searching

Meditating

I've been meditating

.

I called upon the Sufi's in their robes

Who painted their existence in foot strokes

In dark of my dimensions learnt your name

Echoing song tracing the planets sway

I called on the silk kimonoed Ronin

Esters evaporating, spirits rising

From textured fabric, life-canvas stretched out,

Their smiling stomachs painted oily rose

Sickle sunset turned roses to gold

.

I asked everyone

.

The birds call well before the slip of dawn

In tone-shy light, in bashful monochrome

Repeating unselfconsciously they go

Repeating themselves frantically they call

Searching for you

We're all searching for you

.

The fox is vigilant, quick-eyed and slick

Red tailed in his evening surveillance

Red tails green bushes on his evening rounds

Searching for you

.

With capillaries, the small bones of the ear

The stirrups with their sonar poise

The olfactory bulbs shark-hungry

With these the party make their inquisitions

Hounding and sniffing; any rag of you

Truffle pigs of the party snuffling for you

Unconscious and uncounting of their trot

Their only knowing longing, untiring,

Unaware of how much farther or falter

Bodies know no pains, only thirst and longing

I go about knowing peace in no place

I'm turning myself inside out for you

Where are you hiding?

.

The roots of trees dig in the earth for you

Sifting through soil as sea stars comb through sand

I've been gathering

Meditating

.

The planets turn maddeningly, incessant,

Restlessly straining against practiced physics

Their language unravelling and absorbed

By dark matter into black hole silence

The universe turning itself inside out

Language unspooling, neural chemicals

Panned with prayer for any clue of you

This is how I find you

.

You

.

Mirrored soul carp of indeterminate growth

Who swims obsidian space, ever expanding

Refracting light from polished prism scales