Thinking, Not Thinking
When the rain is neither here nor there
I’m half way down a street
I didn’t mean to turn here.
I’m not thinking.
But not not thinking.
The hoodie I’m wearing
Still smells of her perfume.
It’s a cliché
But it does.
I pass the place we used to go.
Our table is free.
It’s forever ours,
But we won’t go back.
I check my phone. Again.
Nothing. Again.
Just in case.
It hurts.
I’m not crying.
Except maybe I am.
Just a bit in the eyes.
Just a bit.
I feel like how the sky looks
When it’s just about to rain
But it doesn’t
But probably will.
I think of texting her.
I don’t. What do you say?
I miss you?
I’m sorry?
I don’t know how to feel.
Sad? Happy?
Hopeful? Lost?
I just feel… middle.
Middle of the street.
Middle of the walk.
Middle of the way
Through whatever this is.
I don’t know where I’m going
Or how to get back
But it breaks me to know
It won’t be with you.
About the Creator
Ben Etchells-Rimmer
Counsellor, tea-drinker, teacher, and curious mind with a love for music, meaning, and quiet moments that matter. Believes in deep questions, fun, and the power of a well-timed song. Probably overthinks everything, and proud of it.
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More stories from Ben Etchells-Rimmer and writers in Poets and other communities.
The Day After (And Why It's OK To Hurt Like Hell)
I never thought I’d write something like this. Not because I thought we’d last forever (though I hoped we would) but because I honestly thought I’d be alright. I cry at Pixar films, so I know I'd be sad. But, you know, I'd be upset, but fine. That if it ever ended, I’d handle it with grace. I'd be “a man about it.” Be upset, fold up the memories, put them in a box, and move on slowly.
By Ben Etchells-Rimmer4 months ago in Humans
Comments (1)
I definitely know what it's like to overthink everything. I know what it's like to think these very thoughts, actually. Thanks for sharing.