There you were

A new school year underway:

returning to the workplace

joviality -

some genuine, some forced -

catching up on vacation gossip

most faces familiar

yet some new ones

and there you were.

I looked across the staffroom

Vague recollections of a former colleague,

whose name now eludes me,

deciding to take early retirement

rather than face yet another cohort of

confused teenagers

in the classroom

and there you were.

Our eyes met

I nearly laughed out loud

at my pathetic schoolboy reaction

to your perfection, your beauty

but that’s okay -

workplace attraction happens

there is no obligation to act on it

regardless, there you were.

We had our first talk later that morning

nothing significant yet ultimately life changing

I introduced myself,

you said your name,

nothing stuff really,

we made eye contact; chocolate eyes, crystal voice

I was in deep trouble,

because you were there.

For me, it was that instant

recognition of an ancient soulmate

but caught off guard with unexpected feelings,

the type a teenager might feel -

In love from a distance,

too shy to even speak to the girl

yet I had no trouble talking with you

you were finally there.

This picture was all wrong, however

we might well be soulmates

with unforced connections on all levels,

but we were also colleagues -

dangerous territory

And you were too young for me

And I was too married for you

but you were still there regardless.

I resolved early on

to walk away, to resist temptation

but nighttime had other plans for me

vivid dreams, feelings, complex to manage –

me chasing you through long swaying grass

you looking over your shoulder, giggling, me laughing with joy.

and the next day at work

you were still there.

I even left the country,

for goodness sake.

so that I would not become a parody,

just another mixed-up middle-aged man

preying on a colleague

whose only crime was to smile at him

but eventually I had to return -

and you were still there.

I left again, the years flew by

tears of blood when my marriage ended.

devastation, pathetic pleading, readjustment

to being unexpectedly single again.

yet inexplicably our paths crossed again one afternoon

no more avoiding and pretending this time.

shared feelings, finally acknowledged,

were still there.

Can it even be legal for life to be this rich?

one friend called it ‘serendipitous’

a few said ‘it’ could never work,

‘You can’t possibly think she’d be interested in you’,

was one choice phrase

‘You’ve struck the motherlode’, a more astute observer chuckled

ten years on, eyes meeting across our bed

I’m grateful you are here.