The wrong me

Don’t blame me.

My loneliness has made me mad.

If it doesn’t then my sins surely have.

I didn’t decide for what was coming, if you could read my mind, you’d understand why I’m dead inside.

I don’t ever have the right words to say.

I’m told you can’t leave, I’m wrong and naive.

I lie to myself, and I’ll believe because I’m haunted by constant nightmares.

Someone save me, my meds can’t cure me.

I’ll have to take them for the rest of my life.

I’ve been lost a long long time.

And can never make up my own damn mind.

Just used to the same old place doing the same exact things.

Might as well dig myself a grave.

Nothing new happening in this dark room I’ve grown so used to.

Always faking, pacing, I just need you to realize I’m actually praying.

For you, I would give my life.

I’m done wasting my time.

I don’t wanna lose anymore of myself.

I can hear them all say “it’s gone on long enough.”

I’ll do whatever you decide.

I’ll be the edge of your knife.

I may be a little troubled but I’m not your enemy.

I want to know what it’s like to be free.

I am poisoned by love, I want to be your certainty.

I want to know what’s right for me.

And for you, I would fall from Grace.

Just to see if you’ve got a face.

If you walk away, I’ll beg you to stay.

I didn’t give up to be left betrayed.

Only you can judge me.