The Words That Choked My Heart

✍️ Poem:

I wanted to scream,
But I smiled.
They asked how I was,
I lied.

I wanted to say:
"I'm tired of being strong."
That pretending hurts
And nights are too long.

I wanted to admit —
That I miss who I used to be,
Before I became
A ghost in front of me.

I wished I could say:
"I'm not okay."
That hope doesn’t always
Survive the day.

I wanted to confess
That I still think of them at 3 AM,
That forgiveness is hard
And love feels condemned.

But I held it in —
Like I always do.
Because sometimes,
Silence is safer than truth.

Because when I speak,
They say: "You're too much."
And when I’m quiet,
They call it a crutch.

So I write my truth
In unsent letters.
I bleed it in poetry
Where nobody judges.

Because some things —
The real things —
Can’t be said out loud.
Only felt.


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