The Words I Wish I Could Tell You

I was a victim of abuse…
Some days I feel like I still am….
For years I was taunted by you, your air, your control, the screaming, yelling , hitting.. and now that you can’t control me you control her. 
Sometimes I wonder if she knows she’s a victim. 
She claims her power in her words and actions .. but how much power can you have if you are being controlled by a narcissist.. shutting you out from the world, forcing you to go back to a life you shouldn’t need anymore … 
Worst of all getting in between us. 
I thought you loved me… why is he controlling us?
Truthfully you stood in between us for so long, you were also my abuser for years. 
I was once your best friend…
It should’ve never been so, but I was. 
Even though you were 
supposed to be my protector , I protected you. I helped you. I gave anything I could to you, and you just continued to take. 
Finally I reached a point where I grounded my boundaries with you and you know that there is no next time, this is it. You can and will loose me forever. 
So we try and try to have that “healthy ” relationship, but I wonder if it’ll ever be?
There’s been so much abuse and damage I’m triggered by your words. 
Sadly I’m triggered by your lifestyle. 
Pretending he’s not something he is, and making excuses for him.
You can say it out loud as many times as you want, it doesn’t make sense. 
When will you get that?
… it not only scares me but frustrates me… most of all it saddens me that’ll be your life till the day you die. 
I want to scream out to you 
“YOURE A VICTIM OF ABUSE”
But you’ll never hear me. 
So what else am I to do but try and take what he allows you to give. 
I’m worried about you. #LoveYourself #mentalhealth #literature #abusiverelationship #brokenheartedness