The Weirdest Dream (Midnight Vengeance)

The Weirdest Dream

By Joshua Matthew Standley

I’d say it’s common knowledge about mankind

that strange things happen in every mind

especially when we go to sleep.

Everyone has dreamt of at least one fight

but I could never expected what I saw last night

So buckle up because this one goes really deep.

I started out in Montana just walking around

then I noticed half the forest was burnt down.

So I stopped and began to wonder why.

As I gazed across the charred landscape

I spied something very out of place;

A big obnoxious picket sign.

In a ridiculous font that was multicolored,

It read “We did this cuz we wanted to” signed The Jonas Brothers.

I’ll tell you right then I started seeing red.

I stood there for a minute in awe and fuming

before I set out find them to stop their evil doing

and teach them a lesson they’d never forget.

They didn’t try very hard not to be seen

Because they pulled up next to me in a big limousine.

Joe Jonas rolled down the window looking as smug as can be.

I started yelling at him but everything went black

when his bodyguard threw me in a sack.

Next thing I knew I was on a cruise ship ready to set for sea.

I struggled to escape the zip-ties on my wrists

Until I realized they were made of black licorice.

So ate them off and continued with my quest.

I snuck around the ship quiet as heck.

Then I saw them standing on the poopdeck.

The Jonas Brothers dressed for RenFest.

They saw me and began to charge fast.

But I was prepared for such a clash,

holding in my hand a wooden bo-staff.

I took out Nick and Kevin before they raised the alarm

Though soon after I was disarmed

because Joe cleaved my weapon in half.

Well Joe took another swing with his katana.

I reached for a lightsaber but pulled out a banana.

Let tell you now, I was feeling quite outmatched.

So I started sprinting toward the Eiffel Tower

He’s chasing me screaming “Come back coward!”

All I could think to myself is “Oh Crap!”

I get to the top with no place to go.

I turn around and realize I’m corned by Joe

and I can see that he’s got murder in his eyes.

So I summon up every last bit of my courage

And charge right at this song writing Scourge

because only one of us can leave here alive.

I wish I could say that this didn’t fail

but he grabbed me and threw me over the rail

And I started screaming like I was lit on fire.

I fell from the Eiffel Tower to my demise,

but I was saved miraculously to my surprise

by Jennifer Lawrence riding a flying tiger.

I say “Thanks Jenny.” And move in for a kiss

but she slaps me in the face and gets real pissed

and says to me, “Son, you’re late for school.”

I awoke and realized that I overslept

Groggy and defeated, I must confess.

I was really feeling like a fool.

So I promised myself the next time I went to sleep

I’d repay Joe Jonas for all the grief

he caused me last night during the full moon.

And I while of I thinking of REM State schemes,

the next time I’m in the land of dreams,

I think I’ll get a kiss from Jennifer Lawerence too!

Yes, that is just what I’ll do!