The Weight of Pretty

Flowing through life like water

Strawberry milkshake and honey chilli potato

Strange combination, I know

But it works somehow

Flowing through life

Letting the tide take control

The car comes to a halt

Nostalgic music, but I’m not nostalgic at all

I sing along anyway

I like the weather today

I’m back again at the mall

The milkshake isn’t that good

But it’s safe and familiar

So I don’t mind

I barely have any makeup on today

I’ve been learning to love myself

To not hide my face under layers

To be okay with no lipstick

I like window shopping

Trying on clothes and deciding whether to buy any or not is exhausting and stressful

So I became passive

Looking at the clothes I won’t wear

I used to like dressing up

I clicked many mirror selfies

But I’m tired now

Tired of trying to be pretty

I can’t let it weigh me down anymore

I want to focus on my inner self

Grow love for myself

Accept all my flaws and imperfections

Let my scars tell their stories

Reality over perfection

Real simple joys of life

Not superficial ones

Because perfection didn’t bring me fulfilment

It didn’t save me from myself

If anything, it pushed me to the edge

I tried so hard to be perfect

And I was empty, devoid of meaning

So I look within

I’m more than my physical appearance

I can’t let it keep bothering me

Honey chilli potato is overly sweet

Eating is exhausting

Maybe I’ll have another milkshake

Maybe I’ll go to a movie

Life is okay. Life is good

I’m flowing through.

Thank you for reading!

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