The Visible Spectrum

Twelve.

The years I'd had when he took my life from me

Pushed me to the ground and took my childhood away

Not caring

Not realising the damage he'd done.

Sixteen.

The years I'd had when I let someone else in on the secret

Introduced them to the ghost I shared my bed with

The invisible burden I'd carried with me.

Eighteen.

The years I'd had when I loved him

When no one else could make me happier

Ever.

Twenty.

The years I'd had when I gave birth

When I realised that I'd never even known happy

I'd never truly felt love.

Twenty one.

The years I'd had when I met her

When I fell down a black hole of realisation

When I discovered that I loved for people and not for gender

When I read the glossary of sexual orientation

When I was introduced to myself

And everything in my past

Made sense

Because it wasn't ever black and white

Yes and no

Right and wrong

Up and down

Push and pull

It was a spectrum

Of colour

The visible spectrum.