The Truth Is...

The Truth is I always wanted you.

The Truth is I always needed you.

Sometimes it didn't feel as though you wanted me as much.

But the Truth? I've always wanted to count on you.

I've always wanted to call you and spill out the days troubles.

Time taught me that you had other people and priorities that were more important.

The days are shifting though.

We're both older and wiser.

We've both grown in our own personal journeys.

The Truth is I'm like you in more than one way.

The Truth is I'm proud of that.

I used to hate that, I used to resent it.

I used to resent you.

But the Truth is, I'm proud of you.

I think of your trauma and how that must've affected and changed your life.

I think about all the things I didn't know back then.

I think of all the ways you were protecting me.

I know things happened that weren't the best but I also know we both did our best at the time.

Babies raising babies...

I think back and my heart goes out to not only little me but little you.

Mama, I'm so sorry for the unpacked trauma that you carried.

I know it was heavy.

We carry this trauma and it bleeds everywhere.

It bleeds into the next generation.

It's not intended.

I understand now mama and the Truth is...

I love you.

-Your Firstborn