The Three C's

I can't tell if I love you or if I'm just a narcissist.

CHANCES

It's funny that you think you lost your chance.

Not funny - that's cruel.

It's heart wrenching that you think you lost your chance, that nothing would ever come from what we had.

I could have let something happen, I could have given you what you wanted,

Something that I may have wanted too.

But I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't lead you on anymore, even if there was a chance I was just lying to myself.

A chance I wasn't even leading you on to begin with.

A chance that it was mutual,

Something that I didn't even want to give a second to evolve in my brain.

I didn't want to give you that burden, I didn't want to give you a chance to make that mistake.

CONTROL

The truth is, I never really wanted us to end.

I could have stayed in that park for hours - it wasn't too cold.

I wanted to go back to your room that night you texted me - I wasn't asleep.

I waited for you on Thanksgiving, you never came back - I never told you I waited.

I doubt you expected me to wait.

It hurt when you told me about her, even though I saw it coming.

I saw the way you looked at her, because that's how you always looked at me.

That stung.

But I deserved to lose control.

CHOICES

I didn't want it to end, but it had to.

Because I'm not good enough for you.

In fact, I'm not good enough for anyone,

Not even myself.

You deserve so much better than me, and so do I.

But I don't have a choice.

I hope you make the right choice. I hope you let go.

Do it for me, I would if I could.