The Tears of a Child

(I wrote this poem in December 2021 while dealing with a severe depressive and PTSD episode due to my traumatic childhood. I was going to post it alongside my open letter to John Cena but then decided that the poem deserved it's own entry.)

The Tears of a Child

A little girl of four

Is on the floor with her knees

Drawn to her small chest

Crying tears of pain and fear

Fear of a woman who was supposed to love her

Only for her to hate her own child

Fear of a woman who was supposed to protect her

Only for her to use violence to put her child into submission

A little girl of eight

Is in her bed frightened of the sound of

Yelling and screaming from her adoptive parents

She cries and is comforted by her father

Only to be frightened by the angry and hate-filled voice

Of her mother

A teenage girl of fifteen

Is sitting in the hall of a high school

Crying and listening to the hateful voices of

Her classmates who destroyed her confidence,

Her self-esteem, her sense of worth

Her love for oneself and her respect for oneself

A young woman of twenty

Is sitting on the couch crying and surrounded by

Liquor bottles and two sharp knives by her side

The hateful, evil voice of her abuser

Whispering evil, disgusting, soul-destroying words

In her mind

A woman of thirty-five

Is sitting on her bed, letting her tears of

Sadness, depression and fear

Run down her cheeks

Her hands over her ears to cover the noise

Of the hateful voices in her mind

Her heart is heavy with the pain of hatred

Her soul is filled with the pain of trauma and

Devastation

A woman of thirty-seven

Is lying in bed, saying a mantra

“No more tears”

“No more pain”

Her lips curved into a smile

Her eyes dry and devoid of tears

Her heart filled with hope for a better future

Her soul filled with strength and courage to fight back

-- Rachel Baker, 2021