I was your master once, I had control
I ruled your world with my words of gold
I knew just how to twist and to pull
Where others would falter, to me you'd fold
~
Then you pulled away, my weakness your ploy
You flirted and taunted, playing so coy
The tides did turn and I became your toy
~
We’d sway and we’d spin, I pulled then you’d lead
I'm first up on top and then underneath
Fallen for pride and devoured by greed
Our lust, it turned out, had razor sharp teeth
~
Yet somewhere deep down, love vied for a chance
Each chose the other, gave in to romance
Changing the soundtrack to alter our dance
About the Creator
A. J. Schoenfeld
I only write about the real world. But if you look close enough, you'll see there's magic hiding in plain sight everywhere.
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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📢 Raise Your Voice Thread: 01/08/2026
Our “Raise Your Voice Threads” are hosted most alternating Thursdays at 12PM ET to offer creators more avenues to uncover exceptional stories on Vocal. As we are continuously searching for fresh creators and inspiring stories, this thread provides an opportunity to exchange and discuss the stories that have moved and motivated us on Vocal.
By Raise Your Voice by Vocal4 days ago in Resources
Comments (10)
I can't get over how expressive this photo is. A very nice choice from you. I'm not gonna lie, I blushed. Are we being taken into the room of the femfetale. Into her mind... 🤔 Okay... I love how the spotlight shifted. Our lust... It... WOW. I really do love that line. Sharp teeth. Very dangerous indeed. This dance they are having. Changing the sound track to alter... Love love LOVE the happy ending. Outstanding work A.J 🤗❤️
Love's allure, perfectly expressed. A great one, AJ.
I love the last stanza! It contains the essence of love -or what love means for me, at least. Great one!
The shifting power dynamics in your poem mirror the rhythm of the tango perfectly. It captures both the allure and danger of surrender.
You almost had me dancing A J - Wow such a powerful read, and I could feel the music and the drama by reading. An excellent job. Nicely done!!
Applause! The rhythm and the music is undeniable in this poem
Damn, my friend, this is stunning. One of the best I've read. Like Sandy and Mike said - this felt like a dance as I was reading it and there was no off words and the rhymes were sublime. Well done, AJ! Truly exceptional. I love how it felt like it might sour...then those two last stanzas lifted things. Were you inspired by your own relationship for this? (I know you often, like me, write what you know, so that's why I was curious :))
Powerful like the dance
"Our lust, it turned out, had razor sharp teeth" That line was so brilliant! Loved your poem!
This is such a powerful piece. The rhythm really makes it feel like a dance. 💃