The Shining

"We're Almost There.... Almost there. People would come from everywhere. And I'm almost there"

The Princess and the Frog (2009)

This Disney song became my prayer. Back in the summer of 2005 I could not wait to shine. I wanted to be like the cool kids, playing their cool tricks. A moth to a flame I was indeed. I would cry multiple times when I would hear a song hitting that special note. The one that sends goosebumps to your toes. I wanted that fairytale so bad it gave me nightmares. The horrifying sleep paralysis of everything that was right; I would wake up feeling incredibly wronged. These feelings prolonged into my twenties.

Oh, I was a fiend. I made all sorts of dream boards for sights to be seen. Anywhere but home, it didn't matter. I wanted to be the center of chatter. Now does this mean I lacked the love from my past? Does this mean I wanted the fame and flashing lights? I just wanted to play with the cool kids. And share some cool tricks.

This place I called home felt foster. I couldn't mold at all. So why bother? Of course my precious loves are here, but why can't I stop looking up there? Up there everyone was shining. So damn bright, I'd hear this little voice in my heart saying "It's yours right?" Why can't I stop looking at that light? I tried to fight it with all my might.

Hey cool kids! Have you ever felt this fright?