The Sequel

Watch me start hoping

It’s the only way I’m coping

Turning insecurity into silence

I won’t tolerate the violence

Of these words I keep speaking

Over myself; my heart’s freaking

Out. This is madness

A break from my sadness

But I deserve gladness

Yeah I deserve gladness

A seven hundredth chance

Why does feeling your glance

Make my belly so nervous

Guess I’ve just hurt this

Heart one time too many

But I can’t deny the penny

Drop moment; when I see

My mediocre anxiety

My too-fractured story

My beautiful history

In a tattered tapestry

Floating in the air

First time I’ve laid myself bare

All my scars on show

Even though you didn’t know

How I got the scar I pointed out

It’s hard to talk about mental gout

The kind of infection that takes years to heal

But I’m alive, I’m standing, and apparently you’re real

Worried that I can’t explain the reason

I’ve trespassed into a vulnerable season

Where I choose to spit my verse

Highlighting all the worse

Parts of my blank canvas past

Not one thing hidden, at last

I’m in the open

Pride broken.

Let this be my final sonnet

To my loved and unloved spirit

My biography’s still evolving

But I’m done with it revolving

Around people and blame

I’ve held the weight of my shame

Too long

I was so wrong

See I’m strong

Here’s my battle song

I’m no longer notorious

In fact, I’m victorious

And I’m living for the glorious

This is my new identity

Not defined by just being pretty

Defined by loved, cherished, named

No longer frightened and ashamed

Not hiding or disguising

But devising

My uprising

And realizing

It’s energising

And polarising

To stop compromising

My value

I’m made new

Used to feeling so small

Lift my chin, I stand tall

I’m of equal worth to you all

And I know that when I fall

He’s got my back, I’m in His hand

Today I take my promised land

Claim back my rightful name and place

Look in the mirror; love my face

Smile at the looking glass turn my heart back

From iron bars into flesh; I’m finally on track.