The Rays of Life

I am black and white

On mornings when the blankets feel especially heavy

I lay colorless under the sheets watching the numbers change

Time ticks on yet I am frozen in a warm tundra of blanket

Go visit your dreams again, you'll miss out the depression whispers

Maybe the subconscious voids are more content ridden, brighter

Maybe I'll live in the waking moments a little more

I am gray when plans fall through

My expectations condensate and the clouds above darken

I feel for others, sometimes I take it on a little too much

I find myself surrounded by company

I am the life of the party, but I've forgotten to be my own

The contagious smile everyone adores get old,

Second thoughts about coming arose, but wasn't this my idea in the first place?

I am red when I ignite

Calm and collected to the chaos

I can tune in and listen to the soft reminders that everything will be alright

Yet things are so personal, it is between you and I afterall

I won't let it on but I've been paying attention

My anxiety has mapped the probable and impossible, I'm full aware

Earth signs are bound to the ground

But nobody ever said we didn't bring our matches

I am yellow when I let go

I laugh at my own carefully articulated jokes

The words start flowing synchronously with the pink cup of liquids and worries swallowed

I gave myself the night, and loosening up sounds like the perfect first step

Energies feel brighter, easier, and the moments are lost within genuine vibes

Long nights turn into nostalgic fever dreams

The sun has yet to fail to rise each day

As have I, replenishing earth with my own rays

I am purple when I live for myself

"Chase, don't attract" has become a recurrent late-night phrase and self-reminder

I share my energy into things that mutually reciprocate

Into the people that remind me I'm a blessing

Into the moments filled with butterflies

And change the narrative from "what if" to "what's next?"

I am the director of my life and the power has always been mine

To absorb and reflect, whatever feels best

I am rainbow when accepted

Part of a welcoming group with a long story,

The embrace of love reminds me why I give in the first place

In the comforting arms of girls and boys alike who don't question my paths

Or tell me I should be ashamed of who I am

I break down the doors of norms and think of how beautiful it is to share this world with others

How alive we can be to figure out ourselves in the midst of confusion

In an understanding world we shine for who we are

Although it's not there yet, I will sit at the table and rejoice

For I am in touch with my femininity and feelings

And I think a lot of people will agree that this harmony is the whole point

I nor anyone else simply embodies one singular color, emotion, trait, or experience

We are perfectly crafted mosaics

Constantly changing and growing and learning what to live for

This is my palette at the end of the day

She's filled with all but never lets me forget

To focus on the bright paint in front of me

To pickup my paintbrush

To create what feels good, right

To pave the way with the common entity to self-success, me.