The Raven

It’s been 27 minutes since I last saw her ebony hair

Or maybe it’s been centuries, who knows?

Perhaps it was only yesterday when I first laid eyes on her

It was a dream that was not meant to be reality

A makeshift hello that manifested into a gloomy goodbye

I’m haunted by the memories of future laments

This is a eulogy of nostalgia and repentance

I never told her how much I loved her

I’m trapped in the ether where she abandoned me

If there was a journey through hell to reunite with her, I would do it

Anything to shake the mortal coil I am suffering from

If there was a God, I wouldn’t be stuck here alone

I fear I will lose these memories and the scent of your skin

I don’t want to forget but I don’t want to remember either

What is worse?

Losing you or never having met you?

I would be spared my pain, my dread, of being without you

Slumber is a foreign concept

I don’t crave sustenance; I only crave you

Loss is not something I can just get over

If I could develop amnesia, please abduct me

If I could erase you, please cure me

There is no antidote to this endless malady

I’ll forever live the rest of my days without your presence

The Sandman must have come for me because I woke up suddenly

There is a tapping on my window

Who could be outside at this time of night?

I push aside the curtains and throw open the window

In comes a parade of feathers

A raven manipulates its way inside

It rests on top of my bookcase and does nothing but stare at me

Its eyes are blank and lifeless but fill me with dread, nonetheless

Why are you here? Why have you come?

I ask it as if expecting a response

The raven never speaks, never blinks

It just sits there, watching me, staring at me

I am unsure of what to do

Is there really a raven inside my room? Why would there be?

Please, don’t make my life any worse than it is

I am already full of regret and heartache

Please, Raven, leave me be

I begin to talk to the raven as if it were my therapist

With no one around, my grief has swallowed me whole

My days and nights have become intertwined

The raven never moves, never stirs

I plead with it to speak, I beg of it to leave

Nothing

Why are you here tormenting me? Why not leave me be?

I try bargaining with it, but nothing will buy its departure

Nothing will negotiate its surrender

I am immersed in my own tears and yet, this bird shows no mercy

I throw books at it, I throw clothes, I throw shoes

Nothing will purge my room of this raven

I scream at the raven to leave

It hears my pleas, it heeded my fury

It will not budge

I am haunted by this raven because my grief will not let me forget

I acquiesce, I capitulate

I can do nothing against what sorrow has done to me

I have no choice but to live

I miss the way she touched my face and how she said my name

I hope the pain subsides and the raven will disappear one day

It’s been 27 minutes or maybe it’s been centuries

I can’t tell anymore

I want to remember a time when the raven wasn’t here

That time was long ago

It feels like my solace has always been here but that is a lie

I have laid you to rest and so shall my heartache be

I learned to ignore the raven and some days, I don’t even notice it

Some days, I don’t even think it’s here anymore

I’m not so sure

I miss you and I will always miss you for the rest of my days

My soul refuses to be wrapped in shadow

It refuses to lay down on the floor

I will never forget you, but I need my life back now

I just don’t have time for this grief anymore