The Rainbow of Me

From the time I was four

Molestation was knocking at my door

So I became blue

In every hue

Life happened and I was confused

My mother made me bury it

As if I wouldn’t be aware of it

So I became black

I couldn’t see anything on the map

Then I rewinded a bit

Then I remembered my father wasn’t worth spit

He molested my two older sisters how red is this?

I guess when it came to me my mother was tired of it

Cause she just ignored my blue

Constantly asking me what’s wrong with you?

Blaming me for her distorted views

So I became white

So I could blend in with the darkness of night

No longer wanting to fight

Cause when my family sees me they look at me in my father’s light

Blaming my existence for the pain in their lives

So why would I want to be yellow like the sun light?

I was bruised I was purple

Self hate was in full circle

I subconsciously looked for the wrong type of love

Cause I always felt unloved

Not free flowing white like a dove

I felt raw and pink

So alcohol became my favorite drink

She was my friend

Until her consequences began to thicken

My baby almost lost his life

Because my friend alcohol had me in the green all night

Full of envy the alcoholic phase

I awakened to find my baby about to fall down the staircase

This is when orange hit my face

All the colors of me can’t be replaced

I decided to get help

And embrace the all of my self

I then knew I had to be in the dark to find the light

All seeds grow in the dark first right?

Then they bloom facing their true light

The rainbow of me is the palette of my discovery

All of my pains are victories

All of the colors of me

I even embrace the brown

I wear it comfortably as my crown

Now self love is not only a verb I am the noun