The Pills!

Think fast, think fast, no faster than that, how many were left, just do the damn math.

In an instant her plea from weeks before, came into my mind like a slamming door.

”I will take my meds, like I need to each day, let me earn your trust back, don’t take them away.”

The words she‘d said, rang in my head, holy shit, no way, she took a month worth of meds.

30 pills gone, is that what that means, my daughter took 30 pills to make her feel free.

She hates taking pills, and can’t get them down, was she really that sad, that-that didn’t matter now.

The man on the phone, was still there as I thought, this can’t be what happened most definitely not!

My voice began to crack, as I begged, please get them here now, are they on the way?

“Yes, ma’am, they are, they’ll be there soon. Just stay with me, by the way, is she turning blue?”

Please, dear God, what can we do, over and over we plead, this just can’t be true.

The front door is open, it’s raining outside, I see them now, I’ll just rush them inside.

They're moving so slow, is the thought in my head, by the time they get in here she’ll already be dead.

Oh wait, they’re moving as fast as they can, so many things they have in each hand.

They move methodically to assess the scene, “what happened“ they ask as you seize in between.

She took 30 pills, she wanted to die, please help her, help her, help save her life.

Time stood still as far as I felt, but I know it takes time to administer help.

They tried to help, though completely in vain, you seized and you thrashed every bit, the same.

God, please help her, you’re the only one who can, please hold our baby in the palm of your hand.

Was she sad, was she mad, had we pushed her too hard, it looks like now, she’s showing her cards.

They called ahead to get help for you, she’s coming, she’s coding, she’s turning blue.

I ran back in and just stood frozen in time, my mind wouldn’t work, I couldn’t tell why.

I needed to grab things, but only a few, after all we’d all be home, in only a day or two.

Pacing and pacing just trying to think, they’re leaving now, what in the hell do I need.

Charges, and clothing, glasses, and crackers, do any of these things really even matter.

I was lost in my own house, while dad rode along, “son come help me, I am taking way too long.“

“This is bad“ I told him, “what will we do?” I can’t say the words but he already knew.

“I know, mom” he said and hugged me so tight, ”now get out of here, hurry up, get to her side!”

“You've got the boys? Don’t let them be scared, just tell them she seized, and leave hope in the air.“

They’ve had so much loss in their young little lives, this will destroy them, if she really dies.

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Next Part III -The Hospital