The Path To Something More

I’ve etched the mistakes I’ve made unto these hollow bones that surely will turn to dust.

Decaying from the inside out.

I’ve given my soul, trading love for pain.

How insane my mind has opened up.

What have I become over the years of spiraling?

I see this shadow that hasn’t left me.

A faded memory of who I used to be despite all I was.

The nothingness I have found within me pouring out.

I haven’t masked my lies with the forsaken truth we’ve all fallen short of.

I’ve seen the image of a love lost.

A murder of self so gruesome, I’ve traded love for the nothingness that bruises the hollowness of flesh bleeding the truth beyond comprehension.

Misconception of identity, but if it’s the death of one it’s truly a life yet to live.

When facing all the empty ones that criticize all there is to see in flesh.

May the world rain hell from above.

For many have taken for granted life beyond the bones.

Confused as they are, they can’t seem to face a truth darker than the world that holds them dear.

But even she will reject them and spew what God never could.

It’s a heavy burden to reject life, but it’s something the flesh brings itself to do.

I’ve carried the lies and buried the truth, because if they only knew.

I know myself from the inside out and I can tell they don’t do the same for themselves.

They swallow their fantasies and believe all is well but never realized reality is a fantasy we all wish to be a part of.

I’ve swallowed the hurt and carried on coming to have realized I was just breathing but never truly living.

A hatred lives within filling my soul with disgust.

This hatred that many have created within me.

Conflicted and afflicted I’ve sowed all there is to reap in the gardens of death praying to the God of life for something more beyond this point.

What is there to become of me?

What is left for me to carry beyond this path I’ve walked?

These bones will wilt away like leaves off a stem.

I carry both the divine and the hellish things beyond into a grave of uncertainty.

Shall this be the end or the beginning of a creature within me I have yet to unleash?

I tire the fall into the abyss I rot.

This life is nothing but a paradox of lies and I can’t seem to trust all I see.

I wish to escape all that is around and within me.

I cannot be all there is while I refuse to breathe.

To love and to hate, I contemplate the two.

Which is true and which is a lie?

I don’t think I’ll ever know.

I analyze my being and know I fall short.

I’ll swallow the uncertainty and face the fears of the unknown.

Like time stretching to give me another chance before I fade beyond.

My bones will decay into all it once was and my breath will be no more once the truth comes to light.

But will they accept it?

Will I delay the opportunity for them to understand?

I’m a paradoxical being facing my existence and the truth of such.

An opportunity of lies shared by many saying it’s truly bright.

My existence will leave them breathless beyond comprehension.

Like death shocking the waves of the beloved that are gone forever.

I too will be the same.

Bleeding my last hope wishing all would change.

I’ll travel to the unknown and leave all the flesh behind the walls they build.

I’ve lost my faith and trust in the flesh,

It is something they will never understand.

A departure I’ve waited upon for years.

I have yet to see the day come as I fade into the night.

How does one fade without the world acknowledging the missing?

-L.