The Ocean in Me

’ve never felt this kind of homesickness before

Longing for a home, but I don’t know where that home is

A person can’t be a home, right?

Is that home not external but within me?

There were times when I felt at home with myself

There were times when I was a stranger to myself

Someone told me that I need to fill the emptiness

And no person can fill that void

But, is it okay to want that?

Can I find a home within me while being with someone else?

Can I learn to love myself in someone’s warm presence?

Years went by, and I wandered

No direction, no plans

I tried and I failed

I failed, and I struggled to try again

I’ve always been bad with directions

It’s easy for me to be lost

Most days, I felt like I was lost in the ocean

All I saw was water, and I didn’t know

Whether I would drown or find a shore

The journey so far has been bittersweet

I have some funny stories and some sad ones

A few happy stories

It’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to want happiness for myself

The shore, I will get there somehow

I won’t drown, I will survive

And when I’m finally there someday

I will look back and thank the ocean

For all the memories, for making me realise what happiness truly means

I will be home someday, maybe I know where that home is.

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