The New Measure

I used to measure my worth

by who replied.

By the little typing bubble,

by the seen-check,

by whether you showed up

When you said you would.

﹁﹂

It’s a brutal ruler, honestly

made of vanishing.

It bends in your hands

and still cuts you.

﹁﹂

I’d send the extra message,

the “just checking in :)”

like a coin dropped in a well,

hoping it came back as love.

﹁﹂

You disappeared in patterns

always busy, always later,

always “my bad”

with no change behind it.

﹁﹂

And I kept auditioning.

Kept explaining myself

Like my existence needed footnotes.

Kept proving I was easy,

cool, low-maintenance

a person shrunk down

to fit your attention span.

﹁﹂

Then one day I didn’t text.

Not as a game.

Not to punish.

I just… stopped.

﹁﹂

And the silence told the truth

faster than any conversation:

If I have to chase you

to be considered,

it’s not connection,

It’s cardio.

﹁﹂

So here’s my new measure:

who stays consistent,

who returns with care,

Who doesn’t make me beg

for basic decency.

﹁﹂

I’m still learning it.

But it feels like stepping

onto solid ground.