The Narcissus in the Water (For Poppy's Prompt)
A Poem of Beauty and Obsession
He found the stream one early morning
where sunlight pooled beneath the trees
and bent to drink but caught a face
so beautiful he couldn't breathe
Eyes like dusk just starting over
lips half-open like a thought
hair that held the color of fields
in late July
He reached out slowly
but the water slipped from his touch
The face dissolved in rippled waves
then gathered itself again
still watching
“Come closer” he whispered
“I won’t break you”
But every time he leaned toward it
the surface scattered like a dream
and still he tried again
The days slid by like leaves on water
He forgot to leave
forgot to sleep
The world kept calling
but he only heard
his own name
from that quiet boy beneath the water
Flowers began to grow around him
white and soft as cotton
His tears fed their roots
and when he vanished
no one was surprised
Now each spring
the narcissus's bloom
leaning over the water’s edge
as if still waiting
for a boy who loved too deeply
what he could never hold
For Poppy's Prompt click below
About the Creator
Tim Carmichael
Tim is an Appalachian poet and cookbook author. He writes about rural life, family, and the places he grew up around. His poetry and essays have appeared in Bloodroot and Coal Dust, his latest book.
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Comments (7)
Great poetry. Yep, what everyone else said, You captured him perfectly.
Not to copy Poppy, but I did really enjoy that line “the surface catered like a dream.” Well done!
You did an amazing job with this one. I adore these similes: 'the surface scattered like a dream' and 'The days slid by like leaves on water' So well written!
Beautiful poem… I especially like the description of his appearance.
Beautiful. I love the story of Echo and Narcissus. My last service dog was named Echo. 👏👏🫰🌼
Gorgeous, like the ego/pride of the man...loved the read.
Beautiful and classic. A lovely tribute!