"Take care of all of your memories, said Nick
For you cannot relive them" - Bob Dylan
~
Scarlet skies fill my eyes with wonder, hope, and absolute horror
Waking in a sweat, checking my watch,
chasing my demons
Tossing, turning, the memories never remain... they never remain the same
Greying, greying to black, black then nothing, no pigment, no contrast
My demons are... redacted... until they surface... cerise pinked flesh
Nibbled
~
I...
Remember a car... or maybe a van, perhaps an ice-cream van, playing Greensleeves.
Then a cry for help from the depths of... Wolverhampton or maybe Didcot.
Did Didcot come to mind because—quick laugh?
I can only remember the details.
Scant details
like scant pieces of underwear on a cheap motel room floor. Next to opened and used bottles of tequila and Tanqueray
The strong scent of aftershave and some potent Gucci knockoff. The sweat lines the... everything and dried blood. Dried blood is there.
~
I'm sure there was disco music playing, like Chic.
Le Freak.
Then bottles crack, the earth shakes, the room turns magnetic with electric or electric with magnetic.
Shock shock shockwave. Bright light blinds. All.
The screams and shouts climb the dryrot-infested walls and peeling wallpaper.
Forgetting half as much as what our, what my...
Than I remember.
~
Did cot
~
Memories are like waves, or bitter punctured wounds, seeping with oil, cacao-nibs, and the kind of perfume you only get in Milan.
Memories are like torn threads that never quite tie and bind to something new.
Like Mexicola Rock n Rolla on a Saturday night that never quite finishes
Distilling into Sunday and filtered through to Monday.
~
But in my mind, I remember everything
or
at least
the important details
in fragments, when sometimes the fragments become
blood stains on the blood, semen and vomit-stained nicotine-flavoured carpets of the rusty motel at the backend of nowhere.
~
One heartbeat
Glasgow last night
Two weathered leather ties that bind
freak out,
C’est
Paris in August
Three, have you heard
Barcelona tomorrow
Four about the new, new dance craze
New York lover
Five times on the door, knock knock
knock knock knock
~
Then the music stops.
~
as it always does
and the pain enters
the chamber
I pray
for awakening
a summoning
but nothing—
but lies.
*
Author's Notes: Experimental entry for This Is How I Remember It Challenge as part of the SWS. Nothing autobiographical about this piece.
Here are some other things:
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!


Comments (5)
Huh, I love this one! I felt like I read super fast while holding my breath (don't know why), I love your metaphors too - like the underwear on the floor of a cheap motel. Great work, Paul! (As always 😉)
The experiment is a success! I love how you wrote this. Very smooth. It carries the reader through (at least me) effortlessly and it makes me feel like I was in the scene. Very vivid, I agree with Donna!
This could be someone's messed up drug and alcoholic stupor of living. Your descriptions are so spot on. Great work.
Experimental or not, this was a vividly painted scene. Even in bits and pieces, soooo good!!
Music is a deafening cover indeed, and it can cover. The experiment has succeeded.