The More

your name, crystalized in a dreamy underworld

Darkened by the heated web of mortality not being more

I saw you fall, I saw you falling

I needed to feel unhinged

So I let you fall.

Ode to you, my darling

You were more than mortality

You were more than what the world had in store

You are the watchmaker for my clouded dreams

Synthesizing a frenetic pattern of stardust and chaotic energy

That stays stuck in my throat

Oh God, I can’t speak

I feel so utterly small

Smaller than anything

I hate how much pain it feels to know

I loved you,

But now

I just want to soak my membranes in the murky colors

Of Sit-Com and funny

And lazy love and always happy endings

The fuzzy waves I surf on

Make everything feel good, good like smooth

The illusion becomes majesty

The majesty becomes more

I could never handle more

Though I wanted so much

To get the more

For you.