The Morals Of Me

I am a man of delusion

Living in confusion

Constantly running through several excuses, knowing the truth to each lie that i tell myself

I am a man of confusion, driven by delusions, pursuing something that was never meant to be for me and it is evident to see.

It is evident to me, i can see it so clearly but still i am nowhere near where i need to be and the grief that it brings sings a haunted melody, taunting me

Exhausted

Hopeless

Worn to the bone in sorrow and misery

Deprived of what I thought I could be and settled for what I was told I should be.

This isn't me

This isn't as it should be

This isn't all i could be

This can't be all i have left in me

Slaving away for another man's dollar and still not making enough to provide

Thriving to drive in my passion, yet scratching away to collect enough scraps to call it a feast and at least say we could eat.

This isn't as I planned it, it's not the way that it should be, this isn't my life, it's not the way that I thought I would thrive.

My reality is based in a corporate world when all the while I thrived to be of my own.

Engraving my name at the base of wooden goods, building an empire from the foundation that I once planted a seed.

I tire of this world, i tire of this life that rightfully is not mine

I tire of trying simply to get nowhere, barely making ends meet at the end of these two weeks.

I tire of hiding my sorrow

Tire of swallowing my guilt like some jagged little pill

I live this life loathing knowing I'm better than this, but still simply just to exist i have have to reach deep down inside of my being and mustard the strength for the sake of my wife and my child.

I tell you now that these are my thoughts and this is my life

These are not words from a story, nor are they anything other than my own raw truth.

I tire i tell you, believe me it's true

I tire of telling you because at this point I am simply through.