The Mask of The Real Me

I sing a song as I'm walking down the street,

I smile and say a bright "good morning,'

But inside I weep,

I walk with my head held high,

I want to appear confident so they

don't see,

To hide behind this mask is comfortable,

You wouldn't like the real me,

Strangers always stop to talk to me,

I force my eyes not to dart,

I don't want them to see the fear when

they meet,

I fidget in my pockets,

I tell them I'm just trying to find my purse,

But inside, I'm a trembling wreck,

Nervousness coated in armour,

I dance and sing at a concert because it's

the thing I do,

You don't feel the tightrope knotting

my stomach as I look around,

Anticipating the next attack,

I cover my face in bronze glow,

So that I look happy,

The makeup is there to hide my stress,

underneath I'm pale and withdrawn,

I look like a zombie from not sleeping until

After dawn,

I laugh and I joke with you,

I try to be the party clown,

So you don't see the shame on my face,

When I'm feeling down,

I force a smile at the mum who holds

her newborn baby today,

I blame it on hayfever as tears fall,

Because my baby passed away,

When I say goodbye,

I smile and say, "I'm ok,"

But when I get home,

Darkness sets in,

And I am in pieces,

Crying my pain away,

What you see, dear friends,

Is the mask of the real me,

But inside is where I hide,

The many faces you never see;

The faces of loss, trauma, depression, and,

Anxiety.