The Marshmallow Incident

<Lone actor lurking through dark castle stumbles upon a box full of stale marshmallows and an old diary. One light on the actor – soon to be narrator. Blows dust off of book.>

“The Marshmallow Incident?”

<Picks up dusty marshmallow and tries to bite it.>

“Yuck!”

<Spits. opens book>

What follows is an account as strange as it is true,

Where two towns divided me from you.

Off to the left the left-handed went,

And off to the right the right-handed were sent.

“What the heck?”

Then they built towns and walls were set up,

Thou must not enter the other – each gate was shut.

Left’s go to Lefton because they were so right,

Right’s go to Righton or else there will be a fight.

“Is this for real?”

“Oh…its real.” A voice says.

<Enter many actors running to each side of the stage with obvious yellow line uncovered on the center floor. Each minds his business doing peasant stuff. Lights brighten the whole stage.>

And just to be sure - there was a yellow line painted in the middle,

Guarded by knights who daily held vigil.

Only they could cross the forbidden yellow paint,

Ambidextrous knights only, who were kind-of like saints.

“This is awful…and I LOVE it!”

<Knights enter and keep people away from the line. Scolding. Hopping over to the other side at will they are very proud of this duty.>

Why it was painted no one knew,

But everyone was scared - not just a few.

For if you stepped over on purpose or mistake,

God knew what would happen - and THAT made them shake.

<Narrator goes to side but still obvious. Then everyone else is blacked out except a stoic knight and ditzy admirers. After he finishes, all the girls faint on the floor.>

“Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I like marshmallows ‘cause

They’re made of sticky goo.

<BIG. First prize is pinned upon his breastplate. Narrator all the while aside shaking his/her head.>

“Pathet -ICK!”

He won first prize - and what’ll you bet?

Fifty-thousand marshmallow crates is all he gets!

The ambidextrous knights stacked them by weight,

At this castle overlooking the towns – right behind the gate.

<Now the knights start opening the crates and eating them in all sorts of ways.>

The knights ate them with peanut butter and potatoes,

On cocoa, turkey, pizza – yes, we made those!

Whipped into a cloud and ate the fluff,

Roasted and toasted, even the horses loved the stuff.

Then the knights who were slightly overweight,

Saw a man sprinting outside the gate.

Making a beeline to the forbidden line,

He tried to catch a child but couldn’t in time.

<Acted as read. Man falls over. Gasps. Silence.>

It had never happened before and no one knew what to do,

Then over the castle a marshmallow threw.

Grab your ammunition, the line has been breached!

Upon the heads of the people, to heaven they screeched!

From the catapults, from bows, from slings they flew

The sky was raining marshmallows - oh not on a few.

From the towns, from the fields, from the knights they came,

And all of the sudden it turned into a game.

It was serious then it wasn’t - and smiles became,

The kids were bouncing, rejoicing the same.

Lefties and righties the parents even threw,

Not one sad face, not even a few.

<Then the stoic knight (with 1st place) goes on the line, and he gets PELTED. Narrator joins in.>

“Wait just a minute!

This line is the limit!

Why is it here?

What do we fear?”

<People stuffing their face nodding.>

All of them stuffed, the councils they met,

Wrote it all in a book, and not to forget.

They all scrubbed the line, and it was no more,

Replaced by logs, fire and smore.

<Happy roasting marshmallows.>

Since that time - and every year to the day

The towns they both came out to play.

Not just some – to the left or right,

Not just a few and deep into night.

Then every day the towns grew to one,

All because some knights decided to have fun,

And so, it was from worst to best,

The day that became the marshmallow fest.

<Scene closes to narrator closing book. He/she tries another stale marshmallow. Then all of the hiding actors come out and PELT the narrator. When they are done, he/she picks one up and tastes it.>

“This is awful, and I LOVE it!”

<Eats it acting like it’s not so bad.>