The Last Seven Seconds

A house by the beach—I always wanted that.

I spent my whole life wanting to look back at you from the balcony,

Asking you to watch the sunset with me.

Doesn’t it feel so magical?

When the cool sea breeze brushes your face?

I can hear the seagulls cry.

Are they looking for the love they lost,

Or the love they could never find to begin with?

“Is this getting old?”

I ask you,

As I intertwine my fingers with yours.

A wistful smile appears on your face.

That’s all you ever say.

We watch the sun as it goes down.

We watch the seagulls fly away in despair.

It’s a shame they couldn’t find what they were looking for.

“I’m glad that’s not us,”

I say to you with a grin on my face.

We stumble into everything

As we walk back into the house,

Your hands undressing me,

My hands in your hair.

We lie in bed, my head on your chest.

You play with my hair while I talk about nothing in particular.

“Why don’t you ever say anything?”

I ask; I’ve always wondered, “Why?”

You look into my eyes with the same wistful smile,

And I search for the answer in yours.

Your smile never quite reaches your eyes.

You never say anything.

Am I losing my mind?

I am in this place every day, every night.

I wake up in this bed every morning.

I cook your favorite dish in this kitchen,

And you come up behind me, pressing a kiss to my neck.

We are twin flames that become one

When the morning sun meets the night.

When morning comes, the wind colder than before,

We put on our coats and walk down the steps of our front porch,

Arm in arm, toward the sea.

“Catch me if you can,” I laugh.

I escape your hold and set off running.

I remove my shoes; I don’t know why.

I am scared to run barefoot.

I never have before,

But with you,

I’d run miles till the cold sand numbs my feet and fears.

It’s not too long before I’m laughing in your arms again.

We kiss, and we hug as the waves crash and meet our shore.

“Is this getting old?”

I ask you,

As I rest my head on your shoulder.

A resigned smile appears on your face.

I wish you’d say more.

I pick up the sand, and it escapes between my fingers.

I have everything I ever wanted—except time.

Time with you slips through my fingers,

Like sand.

“Why don’t you ever say anything?”

I ask again; I still wonder why.

You part your lips—— but that fucking smile shows up again.

I search for the answer in your motionless eyes, staring into mine.

Suddenly, a hush settles over the shore.

I watch the waves pull back,

And along with them, my entire world.

The ocean retreats, going farther than my eyes can see.

“My dear, we’ve got to run!” I scream,

But you stay still with that damn smile on your face.

Soon, the wave comes crashing down,

Claiming what was never mine.

I wake up and sit by my window,

Staring at the vicious sea.

I don’t see it as a beautiful place anymore.

Without you, how could it ever be?

I can hear the seagulls cry.

Perhaps for the love they lost.

I never thought I’d be one of them.

You never say anything,

But I still hear you in the waves crashing on the shore.

I had everything I ever wanted

In the last seven seconds,

But you,

You always go away,

Only to come back and haunt me every single day.