The Journey

Life Blossoms

The Becoming

There's nothing like rain on an old tin roof

That can stir up the smallest truth

Once combined you shall have your proof

That even the smallest apple can break a tooth

In the stillness answers will come

Following the rains rhythmic drum

Finding yourself is worth the fun

So do it blindly while you hum

All the answers you need can be found

If you just take a second to look around

The truth is solid and sound

But first you must break the ground

You must dive deep within

To turn each stone to begin

Uncover every rock and only then

Can you examine each beautiful sin

To close your eyes and listen to the rain

To empty all thoughts from your brain

To exhale all the love and pain

And just focus on all that you can gain

To let go of all that ugly

To throw knives at your own insanity

Let yourself come to terms with thee

Then inhale all of life's beauty

The becoming has begun

So set sail into the northern sun

Then trust yourself and not the run

And truly make time to have fun

I will forever love you dear self

I should take the time for my mental health

To categorize everything on my shelf

And balance my own spiritual wealth

Then I can break free

To trust everything with such intensity

To give love to the woman inside me

And make peace out of life's beauty

A.D. Small

June 15, 2022

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Dance with me

I want to move something magical

A beat with a strong flow

A void that needs to grow

A shape shifting that starts slow

Let me breathe this beat one more time

Start a poem with a blank line

Move to this beat without a sign

Dance this dance with the finest wine

To move in time with this dance

The rhythm moves you with every chance

Take time for second plans

I will show you if you give me your hands

Let my music dance your beat

Listen to the rhythm of the street

The sweat is sugary sweet

To dance in this heat

Take time to sing with me

Sing this song and dance my harmony

The magic is here if you can only see

So come on baby and dance with me

A.D. Small

March 16, 2017

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Captivated

You captivate me

To the point where I'm completely

And utterly speechless

You make me happy

To the point that I'm dying to kiss

To kiss your sweet lips

To watch you smile as I do this

I want to hold your hand

Your hands hold so much love

They turn me to quicksand

Your hand fits mine like a glove

I want to smile

To whisper it will be ok

To open up my mouth to speak

And pour out all the words I want to say

My ink flows from my lips

It pours down this paper so smoothly

It stays on each line like caressing fingertips

Speaking in fine printed sensuality

I want to speak to your mind

To scream on the inside of your brain

To twist the black ribbons that wind

Around my heart.. You make me insane

I want to console you

To breathe the life into your lungs so you can live

With all the hurt I've gone through

It's amazing that I still have love to give

So take this gift and wrap it in lace

Put it inside a corner of your soul

So when you caress my face

Remember I love to make you whole

A.D. Small

October 15, 2011

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Love Behind the Lines

Love is undying

A never-ending battle between

The good, the evil, the bad and the ugly

Love can be ruthless as well as kind

It can cast rain clouds in the morning

Love is undying even in death it may follow

It is wise leaving you broken and hollow

It can change and bend you

Twist and turn you

It can weave in and out of lines

It can show up in the most awkward times

It can blind you to the world and make you fall

It can leave you speechless with no words at all

You may fight for it with every breath sometimes

Your soul sings for it throughout my lines

You fight for the chance to be free

You sing every syllable with intensity

It beckons you, do you hear it calling

Before you realize it your falling

It doesn't matter if its ugly or blind

The words echo do you hear the rhyme

Its what's in the heart that matters

If it's untrue it can leave you in tatters

Be careful of love but also embrace it

But never ever try to replace it

A.D. Small

November 17, 2013

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No Destination

There once was a road that led nowhere

You couldn't even walk out of there

As soon as you try

Your heart would start to die

You might as well stay here

A.D. Small

July 8, 2022

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Chapter 2. The Soul Searches

Prompt: the signs of love

To Love

I make love to you, but let me be more specific

I use my hands to paint each hieroglyphic

I draw each line on your body

I paint each curve feeling naughty

I captivate your mind but let me tell you why

I'm completely drawn to you like Venus was drawn to the sky

Inside that black velvet he painted each one

Then the lighting of the stars begun

Our souls are entangled together forever

Carrying the lightest weight like a feather

It moves oceans and mountains as well

I knew all of this the moment that I fell

A.D. Small

January 30, 2021

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Winters Key

Flippity floppity blippity bloppity

If I could analyze the key to this melody

Then time would stand and keys would fall

To ring the doorbell before the final call

To algebraite the calculate to find the formula

Dancing this dance as a zig zagging polka

The pattern on this key seems fancy at best

This Keys designed would have to be incredible in contest

Slipping like falling on gravel in a snowstorm

To define the odds of gravity in the finest norm

But still this key comes at a price to bear

Like connecting the dots without a pair

Like I want to dance in this icy wind and be carefree

But the tasks seem unimaginable with the burdens on me

light the fire on this spoon and watch it bend

Over and over the glowing embers end

To embrace this magical death with malice

To fall face first in this bliss

I will carry this key in my pocket with time

Once the clock hits the hour I will unwind

But to die in this wintery crush is unbearable

The marbles in this circle are incorrigible

I will suck the life out of this room to rise above

When the key hits the top of the latch then it will be enough

A.D. Small

November 17, 2018

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Beautiful Pieces

When all the beautiful pieces are finally gone

And you've destroyed me beyond repair

Would you ask yourself what went wrong

Or would you even care

Does it disturb you to know that I still want you after all the pain

Would I be lost without you

I cry this out loud to the pouring rain

Does it bother you to know that I still care about who you are inside

Does it even matter how much I love you

Or would you rather me feel dead inside

Well I can't shut off my heart it still beats inside

It beats out loud for you

Even after all the tears I've cried

I still love you with each passing day

No matter how hard I tried to forget

This is all I've ever wanted to say

But you still look at me like I'm shit

Why am I dead in your eyes

When you loved me so hardcore I got butterflies

God I loved you inside my soul

It's not easy to erase I tried

You use to make me whole

You use to complete me inside

A.D. Small

October 13, 2011

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Prompt: The fairies move at twilight

In The Dusk

I hear the soft fluttering of wings

And it brings me out of my restless sleep the grandfather clock in the hall tings

It startles me so I let out a peep

I slowly crept towards my window

To see what could be causing the soft sound

I look towards the garden below

I scanned the damp ground

The flutter continues softly at first

My eyes focus in the darkness

The fear causes my heart to burst

My eyes see nothing in this vastness

My breathing becomes calm and steady

My senses are on high alert

The smell of roses makes my brain heady

I stand there in just my pink shirt

I open my window to the summer breeze

It smells strongly of wildflowers

I looked across the yard towards the trees

Their trunks stand as tall as towers

I see a light dancing in the garden

A small glow on top of the lilies

My lips pull into a grin

They're so small they could dance with the bees

they twinkle like fireflies before me

As they dance among the soft roses

They sing a sweet melody

As they spin in different poses

I can never quite make out there song

But the melody can calm the roughest tide

In my garden is where they belong

Because they feel like they don't have to hide

They tip toe and twirl so magically

Their languid movements are peaceful

I watch them so quietly

I don't want to startle them so I'm careful

The fairies usually move at twilight

While everyone sleeps in their warm beds

They bring us peace and love at night

As we lay down our tired heads

They give us magic, love and hope

As they spin to their beautiful song

They help the weak cope

They help the outcasts belong

If I could be like them fairies I would sing every night

I would help the world in so many ways

While dancing in the pale moonlight

That's how I would spend my days

I say goodbye to the fairies in the night

As I pulled the covers to my chin

The fairies will sing and protect me

And that's how this story will begin

A.D. Small

January 19, 2021

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Complete

As she lays down on the sidewalk with her eyes made of stone

As she lays down she is not alone

Lift a hand to cup her cheek

Let her words caress you as you speak

Speak slowly no lies

Can you imagine being broken with no ties

To have your heart lying on the floor

Not being able to speak until someone opened the door

You picked me up off the ground

Off the cold hard concrete

Your heartbeat the only sound

Your voice so sweet

You made me want to breathe again

You made me want to talk

You made me laugh within

You made me dance and walk

Without you I'd be empty

A lifeless vessel beyond repair

I would have no meaning

I would not care

So to you I give my love

Beyond a reason of doubt

Your heart fits mine like a glove

You make me want to scream and shout

Jerry you hold my heart and soul

I was broken when I met you

You make me utterly whole

And I can't wait to say I do

A.D. Small

July 18, 2014

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Chapter 3. The Path is Chosen

Timeless love

To

Love is

To die young.

To breathe a breath

Outside of your own lungs.

To jump without any damn parachutes.

To walk through the muck without boots.

Love is to break off your own wings.

And inside this gigantic world one thing it brings

Is an everlasting rose as timeless as the dying sun

A.D. Small

November 25, 2021

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Best Friend

Living without you I can't breathe

It stirs up all the dust inside of me

It torches my soul with gasoline

it lingers in the dark unseen

It steals my happiness beyond repair

Every minute of every hour that you're not here

When I can't dream in the dark because you're not by my side

When I linger in the tears I've cried

When happiness only becomes a feeling

When I want to scream at the ceiling

If I could shout out in the silence

Would it bring you back or make me tense

I want to lie in this bed and sleep

But I can't dream if this pain is too deep

I want to find you in the shadows

To be where your love grows

But waiting is dying and I can't scream

I want to put these pebbles inside this stream

To have you close to me again

Because right now I'm missing my best friend

A.D. Small

August 18, 2019

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Recovery

(dedicated to my husband not by law but by Jesus dammit)

In this ugly ass world....

If I lost you I would die too.

You are my entire being, maybe even more.

My life... my rock... my core.

You are my son's father and he loves you to death

what would it do to him if you took your last breath

You are his biggest hero and fan

For the last 10 years you helped me teach him to be a man

You helped me read him stories

And always a kiss on both cheeks

You helped me with all the glories

And the tears on his cheeks

You taught him how to hit a toilet bowl

And how to catch his first fish

I taught him to love with all his soul

And to cook his first dish

To never run with scissors

Or throw a ball at your mom's face

Oh my God when he said he wanted to train lizards

Or his passion to go into outer space

His hopes his dreams and his fears as well

He's never gotten a chance to say

Or even try to scream or yell

That he just wanted his parents sober today

A.D. Small

April 20, 2020

(yes that was intentional)

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Disguise

I wish I could see through others' eyes

I just don't get it maybe that's my disguise

If you could explain this beauty I'm absolutely interested

Because where I sit I see things on a different grid

I'm not fancy or considerably beautiful

But I have an amazing heart and soul

And for some reason I have a knack for making the pieces fit

I guess I can be charming with my wit

But deep down I'm not the heart of the ocean

And the man of my dreams keeps me in motion

But I guess somewhere I want to feel what others see

To feel the greatness in me

Because inside a child is screaming to feel his own strengths

I feel like I run on different lengths

I never have time to feel that wildfire

The embers just burn up my empire

Will it tear down the foundation of my walls

Will the smoke fill the chambers and halls

If I don't find that time to heal the broken vine

Will my hope just shatter or will it climb

Will the fire burn like ashes to the ground

Or will I rise up without a sound

I have to unlock this key to find myself

To bring me to life and save my health

Until then I'm going to keep walking this ocean

And hide my ashes behind my grin

A.D. Small

August 13, 2018

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Fate

There sat a man on melancholy hill

Who searched for his long lost love but nil

He searched high and low and in between

Even over yonder where the grass is green

Everywhere he looked he couldn't find her

So here he sits to ponder

On this hill he will wait

For if she is out there....

Then she's his fate.

A.D. Small

April 16, 2022

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Chapter 4. The Door Closes

Views

The winter it freezes you

Like a stained glass window. That I look out of.

The autumn has a different view

As goes the seasons

The streets change

A.D. Small

June 29, 2022

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Tormented Chains

These pastel ashes have finally risen

This violent storm has passed

The sky has been torn open

As if the clouds were made of glass

The stars have jagged edges

The room is a swirl of blue

All that's left is disgusting smudges

That leave a painful hue

The stars have shattered on the cement

The breaking sound cuts through the night

The moon seems distorted and bent

The bursting stars seem so bright

My heart screams but no words can be heard

It's only a mere whisper at first

My vocals are dodgy like a bird

The fire begins to burst

I will love you forever even in this Hell

Shackled by tormented chains

Grieving in this one room cell

The weeping heart strains

I wish I could feel your hands on mine

Hear your heartbeat through this chaos

Sip this burgundy wine

And completely get lost

Our love moves under these skies

It mends the holes throughout the Heavens

It replenishes the clouds as it flies

As the moon just sits there and grins

It beckons to the tired soul

It mends all that is broken

It makes me utterly whole

And your soul is my rarest token

A.D. Small

December 1, 2020

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This Clock

If I could rock and roll my pain away

Then why am I still sitting in this disco hall

If I could dance like nobody's watching anyway

Then why do I cry so loudly when I fall

If I could move mountains with my own hands

Why do I scream when no one's watching

If time stops ticking and then stands

I would cry inside while everyone's laughing

I can't fight pain with this butter knife

I can't move the world like I want to

Instead I want to throw bricks at life

That's what I want to do

It would hurt you to see me like this

Sad and broken inside

The smiling is something I miss

The pain moves me like a tide

I miss being happy with you

I miss the life we had

But now I'm so blue

I'm not used to being this sad

I wish I could turn back the clock

And make the world spin again

But you are my rock

My one solid friend

One day you will come home

I wish that day was here

Then I wouldn't be alone

And I wouldn't have all this fear

I want you to hold me and kiss away the pain

Take me under your arm

Shield me from life's rain

And keep me safe from harm

I want you to kiss me and make the world stop

Even for one small minute

Even with the ticking of the clock

My world is not okay without you in it

A.D. Small

January 19, 2021

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Taste of Victory

When the moon is shining and the stars are full

Let's lie in the grass and smoke a bowl

And as you inhale the sweet taste of victory

I hope somewhere in the dark you're thinking of me

May the embers melt away your sorrows

As you think of better tomorrows

A.D. Small

January 3, 2022

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As long as you got me

When love was like a dagger you spoke to me

Only words that I could possibly know

you spoke your words fluently

And with time made my heart grow

You showed me the beauty of life

With all the twists and turns we could handle

But like an ugly knife

Some of the fountain began to crumble

We move like a strong tide

Trying to overcome each obstacle

But even with my arms out wide

The wave had such a strong pull

I have you and I'll always have you and I love this

But some things in life are much more

More than the strongest kiss

Can we possibly even the score

I can't handle this twisted game we're playing

It overwhelms even the strongest of players

But to do it with you is what I'm saying

It makes it so much easier to rip through all the layers

To have each other in this storm is all I need

The other half of my heart and soul

Together we will run with this stampede

And figure it out as a whole

I know life is hard but you got me

To ride together in the lightning and rain

To make it through this insanity

To overcome the love and pain

I love having you by my side

My rock, my love, and my companion

We've gotten through this roaring tide

So we got anything under the sun

A.D. Small

October 13, 2017