The Flickering Light
Light may not always be your friend
By Rachel DeemingPublished 3 months ago • 1 min read
Photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash
It flickers, the light, and it claims
To brighten all shadows with flames,
But its brightness betrays,
Like a nightly death ray,
Drawing victims inside where it maims.
About the Creator
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Comments (17)
This was eery, Rachel!!! Belated congratulations on getting honourable mention last week in the leaderboard!!
What a clever and darkly playful poem! I love how you've taken something as simple as a light and turned it into this almost sinister character.
Sounds so insidious… maybe I’ll keep the lights off tonight 😬
A power-packed punch, the betrayal of the lantern no one wants to see. Excellent work, Rachel, and congratulations on making this week's leadership board!👏
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Ahh this is so good!! I'm a sucker for moth-to-the-flame stories and this one was especially spectacular.
I never thought anything could make me feel sorry for moths, but I did for about three seconds then. Making the lantern sound sinister was an interesting and original choice.
Yeah I always felt bad for the bugs who fly right into the flames. Great poem, Rachel!
Well-wrought! The flame, I think, does not so much invite the moth as the moth, through a lack of awareness about its instincts, mistakes the flame for a sun it can never reach. Were it flying to the sun, it would find only the ever-stretching horizon. False lights are indeed to be avoided on this account.
Like a moth to a flame? Interesting choice of poetic form, Rachel, for this challenge! Loved your limerick! Best of luck in the challenge!
Definitely a surprising take on the challenge… very clever.
So dark and unexpected. I'm also trying to remember if I have read any other limericks that were serious. In America they are always silly and most often dirty.
Rare is the limerick that sends a shiver down my spine! Deftly done, Deeming!
Hehehehhe I love the dark direction you took for this challenge!
BritBud - So glad to see your unique work among the book reviews. CalBud
So wickedly wonderful The word play is marvellous
Oh chum, this is clever and so true!