The Final Step

THE FINAL STEP

Paddy’s wife informed him suddenly

that she was going out with the girls

she pranced out from the bedroom

with makeup and her hair in curls.

He thought, I can’t sit here and watch TV

and it’s Saturday night as well

maybe I should go and have a few beers

at the local Royal Hotel.

So he swiftly donned his good gear

it was only three blocks down the road

advantageous to have a local bar

not far from his abode.

He stumbled upon a few old mates

the stories and yarns were releasing

they all had so much to talk about

the noise and the cheers were increasing.

He admitted he consumed a couple of drinks

but knew the time would come soon

to try his hand with a bit of a flutter

in the hotel’s slot machine room.

One of Paddy’s favourite things

would definitely have to be

the one arm bandit poker machine

manufactured in ’63.

He reached deeply into his pockets

and found coins as he adjusted his seat

stared into the colourful screen

and said “I will defy defeat”.

Within minutes he jumped up off his chair

he must have sounded like a crackpot

the celebrations had now begun

Paddy just won the major jackpot.

Hundreds of coins poured from the machine

It seemed to be Paddy’s day

it was raining silver buttons

that had filled the bottom tray.

The one arm bandit had imploded

shooting stars and departing rockets

dollar signs flashed across the screen

as he started filling his empty pockets.

Loaded up with a heavy stash

his pockets could take no more

he decided to split the scene

and exit via the back door.

With both pockets full of 10 cent coins

he stumbled up the street

knowing he was quite vulnerable

and he needed to be discrete.

But three long blocks of jingling pockets

zig zagging but still happy smiles

he was singing ‘I’m a rich man’

you could hear him coming for miles.

He had now acquired the wobbly boot

and he knew it was getting late

he pinballed his torso from post to post

as he walked through the rusty gate.

It was at this immediate time

that he wished he carried a torch

as he tried to focus his blurry slight

upon the dim lit porch.

He navigated the old cracked footpath

and positioned his boot to be set

but just typical of this situation

he tripped up The Final Step.

Now the cargo he was carrying

was truly something that mattered

it was just that bloomin’ very top step

that caused all his coins to be scattered.

He was close to admitting success

of reaching the waiting front door

but now a sea of 10 cent coins

lay across the dark porch floor.

He picked himself up off the surface

and suddenly started yawning

mumbling something similar to

“I’ll pick all those up in the morning”.

He slowly crawled across the threshold

and bumped his misguided head

Paddy was now on automatic pilot

for the right side of the bed.

He eventually woke up in the morning

thinking how his night was smooth as silk

he looked out on the porch to find

eighty five bottles of full cream milk.

© 2022 Neale Kirkland