The Eulogy I never got to give.

Dear God,

Please grant her heaven. Give me all her sins in exchange for her paradise. Take all my good deeds, if any, and add them to hers. Tell her I forgive her if she thinks she ever did anything wrong. She was the best mother any child could have asked for.

I could be mad at you, God for giving her the sickness in the first place and then for taking her so soon. I won’t be angry though, if you promise to give her eternal peace. Give her everything I couldn’t give her when she was alive.

Tell her for me, that I tried my best. I may have gotten angry at times but only because I cared. I would cut out my own tongue if it would take back the words I said when we argued. I would rip out my own heart if she could come back and live a healthy life. She was bound to my soul and I never knew what pain was until today. This heartache is different to any I’ve felt; it’s depths are limitless.

I regret every moment I didn’t spend by her side, I regret not giving her all of my time and more. I regret not saying I love you as much, I regret not embracing her when we were both too stubborn to.

I will wake up every day and pray for her. Let her spirit be light and free, now that she has escaped the disease of her body and the agony of this existence.

I ask that you do not show her my pain. Conceal my tears so that her spirit does not feel sadness. She deserves rest and every bit of happiness a being could possibly have.

You took her from me Lord, but I will continue to have faith. That it’s your plan and there was some divine reason. Rest in peace my sweet angel. 🕊

Your child,

Payel