The Echo of God’s Call.

Can a heart still break once it stops beating?

Was this why I stayed—waiting in between,

Not knowing if it was the echo of God

Calling me home,

Or the weight of the world holding me here?

____

Maybe I knew it would never end.

Even when blood dripped from my body,

And my insides squished, buried beneath the earth,

Something was finished.

Something was coming,

Something I had to face after it all.

____

For the end is not the end—

A fickle wish the devil sold to all who’ve gone before me,

Promising peace but hiding the truth—

___

For the ravaged corpse we’d become,

Would still be hungry,

Certainly…?

Still yearning to return to where it hurt.

___

What now?

The next morning,

Waking up, realizing it hadn’t all ended yet.

Looking around to see everything go on as normal,

the chaos that surrounded, thumping as loudly as before

Would today have looked different if I wasn’t here?

___

Maybe for a day or two, my mocking mind replied.

But soon enough, your memories would vanish away with you—

9-year-old me trying to hold back tears,

17-year-old me, unbothered by the outcome.

____

As my eyes squint, bulge,

I don’t know how to make it stop.

If I must live here,

I must first find my Savior,

Or be trapped on the other side,

Alone, with no one to call.

p.s: i wrote this when I was 17. I no longer feel this way—life is so worth living. Still, I thought it was worth sharing.