The Dumbo Soft Spot

i had to go to the doctor one time

i felt like my arse had been split in two

my anus had been stretched so wide

there was nothing i could do

i told the doctor honestly

so he knew exactly what i meant

i got really drunk in the jungle one night

and had sex with an elephant

he looked at me in disbelief

and then he checked out my date

he peered into my gaping rectum

and said "You've got a problem mate!"

but then puzzled he said i had it all wrong

it couldn't have happened like that

elephants penis' are long and thin

even if it did have a roaring fat

so i told him exactly what happened then

and this tale is one of my worst

i told him in a hushed and embarrassed tone

that the elephant fingered me first