The Dinos Have Been Drinking (Not Me)

The dinos have been drinking, the mammals are asleep

The Triassic has came up in time all through the Tertiary

And the Oviraptor's laughing, as the spotlight falls on Ms. Deviled Leg;

An over-eager Lambeosaurus who cracks bad jokes like rotten eggs.

The dinos have been drinking, the dinos have been drinking.

———

And the Eoraptors are all frightened, by a Deinonychus waitress

Who can't pour scotch to waste it.

And the Allosaurus wants Compsagnathus, and he wants the cook to baste it.

The dinos have been drinking, the dinos have been drinking.

And the bouncer is a Shantungosaurus soft-toed rizzless flathead,

And the owner is a T-Rex yuppie with the IQ of a cycad.

Cause the dinos have been drinking, the dinos have been drinking.

———

And "back plate" Pete has drank too much, he's now a stagger-saurus.

While the brass bass player plays too loud (he's Parasaurolophus)-

Now the Pachycephalosaurus has a splitting headache,

And Troodon has been trod on by a Brachiosaurus.

And the dinos have been drinking, the dinos have been drinking,

The dinos have been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me.

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This poem is parodizing Tom Waits’ “The Piano Has Been Drinking”. The song can be found on Tom Waits’ YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/3rzTuh202fA?si=SNZ_I7FiCk7_3Neb