The Demon I Once Loved

The demon I once loved
nearly scared me to death.
No heart—just threats,
and heavy breath.

I tried to understand him,
gave all I could stand,
but each time I rose,
he would crush my command.

I burned every bridge,
every step, every track
just to breathe on my own,
to not look back.

He never saw
what I carried inside
only returned
when my soul nearly died.

I wept for a ghost
who never wept for me,
clung to echoes,
too blind to see.

Then a soul of light
stepped into view,
and taught my heart
that love could be true.

His hands, his kiss,
his gentle tone
became the place
I now call home.

No more screaming,
no more fear
he made the demons
disappear.

I won’t forget
the one who left me torn
but scars, like maps,
help us be reborn.

You have to face
the dark to see the light,
and know the wrong
to choose what’s right.

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Author’s Note:

I wrote the original version of this poem sometime around 2013 or 2014, in the aftermath of an abusive relationship. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the weight of what I’d been through—or why I stayed for as long as I did. The “demon” in this poem was, in part, the person who hurt me. But it was also the darker part of myself—the part that believed I deserved the pain, that mistook chaos for passion, and that couldn’t see a way out.

Revisiting this poem years later, I realize it wasn’t just about him. It was about reclaiming my voice, burning the bridges that led me back to destruction, and slowly learning what love—real, safe, healing love—could look like.

If you’ve ever loved the wrong person, or blamed yourself for surviving something you never should’ve had to endure, I hope this reminds you: healing is messy, but possible. And sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is forgive ourselves for the darkness we didn’t yet know how to escape.