The Dating Game

Who on earth wants to date?

To have to put in the work to look attractive enough to pique someone’s superficial interest, wondering if you’re pretty enough to even get to the first date.

And then, are you smart or engaging enough to keep their interest long enough to qualify for a second date? Do you have ticks or mannerisms, (that you don’t even notice anymore) that are a turn off?

How about shared interests? Are you able to demonstrate some form of compatibility through common interests, or should you tell a fib and say you are an avid hunter or whatever their hobby is, to get to that second date?

So now, you made it through Date One, and now you wonder if you’re advancing to Date Two. So do you act like a contestant at this point? Or be yourself… still walking on eggshells so as to not offend One Date , you may decide to continue acting like the most agreeable person they’ve ever met just to get to Door Number Two.

Should it matter if you’re attracted to them, or not? You’re desperate for a hug or some form of touch, so you may continue your performance as an avid hunter with 2 inch eyelashes and lip fillers- no matter the cost. Who wants to be rejected after Date One? Or even BEFORE the first date…

You’re performing here. Being evaluated. As a woman. A companion. A wife. Are you able to measure up to the standards set by a society that wants their women surgically “ enhanced” and their men to identify as women?

Some will be content with pretty, or contrived pretty. They just want to be seen with a trophy, smarts not important to these…. Their interests are in the physical evaluation only.

Then we have those who are interested in intelligence. Have ya got what it takes? Is your IQ in the acceptable Dating range?

Have you brushed up on things to display your obvious intelligence? Just in case you make it past the physical evaluation… Do you know what a marsupial is, and can you name one casually in conversation? Do you know what mag wheels are, and do you know the difference between engines and motors?

Okay, so Date Two is almost a reality. Let’s move on to persona, of sorts. Are you a girly girl with ruffles? Or a cowboy boots with shorts and messy hair girl? This may be where your vehicle does the deciding for you, so keep it clean.

Don’t be sliding in to Date 2 in a mud- spattered dirty truck with a blingy steering wheel and a Bible on the seat, just because you refuse to sit in Date One’s passenger seat like their possession, held captive by a strange seatbelt. Nope.

That’s a good way to get dumped before Date Two commences. And we don’t want that to happen, now do we? He’s already evaluated you from head to toe, and deemed you worthy of Date One. He’s decided you look good enough, and act smart enough so he’s ready to slide on into Date Two and see what he gets for his troubles and effort. And y’all know what THAT means…

It’s pretty exciting to make it to Round Two in The Dating Game. Your hygiene “ exceeds expectations”, your looks “ meet expectations” for your age, your intelligence “ exceeds expectations” . Your perfume is “enchanting” and teeth “exceed expectations.” Your credit score “ exceeds expectations.” Your fair market value is respectable. But… then there’s the age issue- should it even be an issue? Especially when there’s a big age difference in some of the interesting ones… Society can’t decide either, as evidenced by the series “Age Gap Love”……But then you ask yourself “ what do they see in me?” and “ Am I just a notch?”

You end up evaluating yourself, questioning your looks, your intelligence, your demeanor and whether you are date-worthy. But are you date- ready?

If they aren’t interested in watching the stars, sitting by the fire, singing an old hymn, or being kind to everyone, then they’re just not interesting. If you have to put yourself out there for evaluation by a familiar stranger, for them to decide if they want to take it further into a romance, then you just end up just not being interested.

All of that work and fronting, without any guarantee that you’re not wasting your time and heart on the very wrong person. Someone who has no spiritual connection ends up being a waste of time. You may have been there, done that. Tragic and devastating.

All that primping and preening, worrying and scrutinizing yourself to be acceptable to someone else’s idea of acceptable seems like a lot of time and energy. Not losing yourself in the process of it all.

You’re still starved for companionship and some form of touch, and perhaps you cry yourself to sleep over not having what you want. But the tears have dried on your pillow, and they don’t really leave any stains behind, thankfully. Morning comes and you go through your day, making it the best one ever-every day.

So now you have to decide whether having touch and companionship is worth putting yourself on show for evaluation and date-worthiness. Or not.

What a conundrum….

And the beat goes on.