The Dances of Thought

Words,

Echoing, rattling, dancing

In my head- too fast to catch.

Words of emotion, of expression,

Begging to be free, yet

Too high to reach.

Music,

Pulling my emotions to the surface,

Like a fish to a baited hook - no longer contained.

When was the last time I danced?

Danced for my heart,

The emotions inside me ~ released.

Growth,

A never ending intricate dance

One step forward, two steps back~

Trip and fall, get back up, keep dancing.

I miss my cat,

Her purrs, her screams and meows,

Her mischief and love.

I miss my old vices,

The sweet, blissful relief from reality-

However short, however superficial.

Glad to be free from the addiction,

Yet missing it tonight all the same…

The easy path rejected-

Tonight I stumble, and the voices get louder~

“What is the point?”

“Am I worth all this?”

“I feel alone.”

I know the answers, of course

The logic and truth~

But tonight I don my weary battle suit-

Warrioress,

Protector of my mind,

Demon fighter.

“What is the point?”

Freedom. Love. Life. Joy. Look how far I’ve come!

“Am I worth all this?”

I am worthy. Worthy of love, respect, growth, life.

“I feel alone.”

I am not alone, I am loved. I am safe. I am protected.

It is the demons that isolate me in my mind.

Growth is not linear,

Progress is not easy.

Sometimes it is a battle,

Other times it is a dance.

Always, it is worth it,

Worth every step taken.

Worth every step that I will ever take – for me-

For the life I want to live.