The Chain
The never-ending story
I’ve heard people say this hundreds of times over now,
“It’s going to be a lifelong process.”
Is this what they meant when they said it?
Am I doomed to repeat this pattern the rest of my life?
It’s driving me mad,
consuming each and every thought.
I’ll have happy ones for a moment,
I think maybe that’s just my brain distracting me from my reality…
Is this me?
The permanent me?
Because it seems no matter how good my intention,
Or how strong my drive to be better…
I somehow end up finding myself trying to crawl
back out of this mental hole I somehow keep falling in.
I know it’s not me anymore,
I know I want and deserve better.
So how am I here again?
Feeling the way I thought I was past by now.
Especially with such an amazing opportunity in my lap…
Why don’t I feel amazing though,
Or damn, even just happy…
Slipping, and again…
Those are common words in my vocabulary.
And I fucking hate it,
I hate the moment I realize I am stuck AGAIN.
The moment I realize I’ve allowed myself
to sink so deep
that it’s gonna take the fight of my life
to pull myself back out… AGAIN.
It doesn’t make sense,
because I try so hard.
I’m not a bad person,
I was just born and raised fucked up.
But I’m an adult now,
I’ve lived and loved,
cried and hated,
even cursed God himself.
And I finally felt for the first time
I found a path to take,
a direction to walk,
a way to find a sense of happiness and purpose…
since I can’t have you.
I was doing so well,
yet here I sit.
Toiling and straining my brain
trying to understand what step I took wrong.
Such a slippery spiral you are,
so cunning in your ways.
Telling me “It will be okay.”
Tricking me into the belief I can do it.
Then why am I here again…
I feel like it’s a curse.
A generational cycle maybe?
Looks like it for sure.
I’m the first one to really fight it,
but now I find myself asking…
"Am I really the one who can beat it?"
About the Creator
Tressa Rose
On a serious self-discovering, soul-searching journey. Breaking myself out of a stagnant shell and reaching out for my dream of being a writer.
Co-author of Bounce Back- Dreams to Reality: Faith Over Fear
https://a.co/d/98H2vCF
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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'20/20'
"Do It Again" the track that would ultimately open the Beach Boys final album on Capitol Records which was released on February 10th 1969 had originally been released as a single in August of 1968. The track was the first of many post-Pet Sounds era throwbacks to the early Beach Boys sound which would become continually more cliched and eventually lead the Beach Boys to the level of self-parody they would eventually succumb to in the 1980s while their closest contemporaries The Beatles nearing the end of their run in 1969 would go on to be viewed as the most influential band of all time. However, the song itself is not bad on its surface, and it opens with a futuristic sounding (for 1969) drumbeat captured by then-Beach Boys engineer Stephen Desper using tape delays on the drums performed by Dennis Wilson and John Guerin. The song has been re-recorded numerous times over the years on various Beach Boys-related projects most notably the 2011 re-recording at Capitol studios featuring the five surviving Beach Boys at the time backed instrumentally by various members of both the Brian Wilson Band and Mike Loves touring "Beach Boys" to promote the then upcoming Beach Boys 50th Anniversary reunion tour in 2012. The hammering and power drill sound at the end of the song was an excerpt from a track called "Workshop" that was to be a part of the uncompleted "SMiLE" album.
By Sean Callaghan7 days ago in Beat
Comments (19)
Lovely writing congratulations on Top Story
Powerful! ❤️ Congratulations on your top story!🎉🎉🎉
Lovely words! Yes you can do this! We all can!
Accurate in this world today. Nice 👌
A truly excellent piece, Tressa! Well done!
This is beautiful and so relatable
I really connected to this.
A very tricky position to be in, but you described it so well.
Congratulations on your TS. So honest and relatable.
Hope for healing. Congrats.
This is so painful and waay too familiar. Life somtimes reminds me of going rafting. As you're rowing your heart out, you suddenly realize you were stuck on a rock the entire time but the rapids made it seem as if your moving. G-d help you find your way...
Well done! Keep your style and pace.
This is beautiful, and sadly, somewhat relatable. Congrats on the TS.
Enthusiastic! Learned a lot from this. You can also appreciate my work as well
Congrats on the top story! It's well deserved. You captured the spiral and feelings of dealing with mental health struggles very well.
Thanks for being so vulnerable. Sending love and hugs your way! Kudos for top story and for pursuing your passion. ❤️
🎉 Congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉 Your hard work and dedication have truly paid off, and it’s wonderful to see your talent recognized. This achievement not only showcases your creativity but also inspires others to strive for excellence. Keep up the fantastic work, and here’s to many more successes ahead!
Never give up. You already know you can do it. No, it won’t be easy. Yes, you’ll be exhausted. But each time you’ll be stronger. Each time of escape will last longer. It’s been too long and you’ve come too far to give up now. People love you and you love them. Make it worth it for you both. I miss you on AP
The cycle breaks but somehow it finds a way to reconnect and continue where it left off. A test of strength maybe? I have faith in you. You've proven yourself before and triumphed over bad situations. You can do it again. That last line got me good and is a tough question to consider. Once again, faith in our abilities to conquer the darkness is where the strength lies. Sending hugs and prayers, my friend. 🙏🏽