The Brink of Something More

Putting in the work

for myself

was an unforeseen

challenge.

Pushing myself to the limits,

forcing myself to stop running

and feel every emotion

that has been locked away

for years.

I tell myself I’m worth something,

I’m valued,

I’m loved,

and all the other

classic affirmations

you start to say

when you want to get better.

To feel better.

I’d look into the mirror,

seeing my reflection blankly staring

back at me.

The candle flames flickering as I would

take deep breaths and try

to love the face looking back.

I write sweet words in my journal,

try to soothe the child inside.

To let her know she is loved

and deserving of everything good

in this world.

I look out the window and see the chaos

and anger the world has become.

But when I look back at my own space,

it’s filled with glittery

and sunshine.

I take a deep breath.

I release it.

The world may be destroying itself outside,

but my world was slowly forming

into something beautiful.

I treat myself gently,

like a fragile piece of art

discovered after years of neglect

in a dark basement.

Something in me has finally snapped.

I want a better life.

I deserve a better life.

I deserve love and care,

and all the things that come with

an ideal life.

I started taking the steps

to show myself

what I deserve to have.

All the love I have given

to other people

was slowly seeping back into myself.

I was looking at better things,

looking at something

more.

I was finally feeling

like how I’m supposed to feel

again.