The Breath Before The Dive

I feel her kisses on my feet

As sea foam swallows

My toes and ankles.

The sun is slipping under the covers,

Tucking itself into a bed

With blankets made of ocean.

I say her name out loud,

Knowing she will hear me

Over the noise of crashing waves...

“Goddess of Love,

Why do you seem so distant?

Are you playing hard to get,

Or is it I who is begging to be chased?”

Her response, warm enough

To make me forget

The shocking cold of salty liquid on my skin

Explains that she and I

Are one and the same.

And if she appears far away,

It is because I am the one

Running from myself.

“But not to worry,” she says,

“It is an illusion

That I am moving backwards.

Allow me to be a mirror as you revisit

What was thought to be left behind.

See the water wrapped around your legs?

In but a moment,

It will be dragged in reverse,

With no hands to claw in and anchor itself

To the shapeshifting shore.

It cannot resist the force bringing it back

To a place of depth and turbulence.

Over and over again, the journey continues.

The push to land, the pull away…

And so it is with you.

Do your best to not fight it, my darling.

Gravity is a king we all

Must bow to for now.

The planet you are visiting

Does not stay still,

So let it move you.

Some days, you will find utopian ecstasy,

And others, hell will seem a friendlier place

Than the earth and its nightmares.

May you never be paralyzed in any location,

For all have their lessons and purpose

Until the body expires,

And your soul is free to fly.

But don’t count the hours

In exhausting anticipation.

Simply live each one,

And understand that peace

Is not something to be earned,

But embraced tightly.

Retrograde with me,

I will hold your hand.

Because sometimes, when we are lost,

It is best to return from where we came

And choose a different path

Through the forest of memories

Growing constantly in your mind.

And if you find a tree rotting in the woods,

Cut it down, burn it up,

And let the ground be fed by the ashes.

Perhaps the fire will illuminate

A new way through the breathing maze.

You are not stuck, dear child.

I am honored to be your guide.

And if my voice seems quiet,

It’s only because I do not want

To interrupt your own.”

And now, the words have stopped,

But her sound has not.

The tide sings to me,

And the moon smiles down

As I run, further and further,

Till the shallow is no more.

My mouth closes after a deep gulp of air,

And I go under.