The After

“There is a time for everything… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4

For Leslie and Karen

The world still turns in the After.

Time rudely continues,

and the sun shows no empathy in its shine.

Birds give no courtesy—

though they ought not sing

when a world has been disrupted

and a heart’s been left a mess.

It seems only right

the universe should pause,

should take a breath.

But no.

It won’t.

And it doesn’t seem fair.

⸻

It wouldn’t hurt

if it wasn’t love.

If it wasn’t beautiful

and gentle

and kind.

Good things ought not end.

It isn’t fair.

⸻

But onward, time moves,

like a treadmill—

until the day you step back on it,

catch its rhythm,

a little wobbly at first,

and take the rest of your life in stride.

But that’s not now.

Now…

is the After.

After memory.

After goodbye.

And it isn’t fair.

⸻

But that’s not where it ends.

⸻

If you sit in the After long enough,

you might start to hear the birds again—

and let their melody calm your heart.

The sun won’t glare so much,

and maybe it will warm your skin.

You’ll still have to breathe

through the hole in your chest

for a while…

but you might also get to see the flowers bloom.

⸻

And in the After, you’ll discover:

they are here, too.

Not in body, maybe.

Because they’re on to something better,

and wait there for you.

But although you might not hear

the same voice as before,

though the time for embracing

has come to an end—

it turns out,

they still breathe inside you.

⸻

In the way the sun rises in the morning—

and you remember,

they would rise then, too.

In the way the stars shine—

and you remember their face

when they gazed at them too long.

They’re in the mirror,

when you look and see

you carry them still.

⸻

They are in the Before.

In the After.

And in the Forever.

⸻

So when you find yourself in the After,

don’t be afraid.

They are the wind of memory

through the leaves of your mind

that move you.

They are the afternoon rain shower,

falling on the fodder of your broken heart

that grows you.

⸻

And that light—

that sun—

is proof

that through seasons,

through heartache…

God is faithful.

Faithful to cause the sun to rise

and warm the earth.

Faithful to cause things to grow—

regardless of our circumstance.

Faithful to sustain the birds—

and their singing is their praise

and their gratitude.

Faithful to hold you together

with the same arms

that found the one you lost.

⸻

The world still turns in the After…

But Love

will remain.

____

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4

“There is a time for everything… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

2 Corinthians 1:3–4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles…”