That's Not True

The weatherman said that it was gonna be nice

So I strapped on my shoes and I hopped on my bike

When I started pedaling the skies were a bright blue

Black clouds in the sky appeared, saying, "That's not true."

It started storming moments later; my head was soaking wet

So I ducked into a shop and decided to get a pet

The guy who sold the puppies told me they'd been trained not to chew

But when I took him home, the state of my shoes said, "That's not true."

I took him to the pound, choosing instead to get a cat

I wanted a nice plump one that would end up very fat

But when I reached out my hand, it instantly withdrew

I thought I was a cat person, but evidently that's not true.

I left the place in shambles, now that I was all alone

Except for the man who always followed me with a trombone

Then I started getting hungry; I needed something good to chew

I thought I ate before I left, but it turns out that's not true.

I waddled to the diner before one of my chins fells off

I knew I needed six of them so that they'd jiggle when I scoffed

I sunk into a booth and wedged myself in like I was glued

I was so sure that I would fit but that also was not true.

They'd have to grease me out of there; I ordered three sticks of butter

And if that didn't work, I knew I'd have to call my mother

But that would be unheard of since she now lived in Timbuktu

I thought she'd always be there for me but, no, that wasn't true.

Not proud to say, I ate my way out of that damn booth

Sadly, in the process I ended up swallowing a tooth

It was safe to say I needed to give this bad day a redo

I thought I would be going home, but they told me, "that's not true."

My home had been obliterated, it blew up on the news

I had nothing left to live for, but nothing left to lose

I just wanted to ride my bike; he said the skies would have been blue

All my blame went to the weatherman, for what he said, it wasn't true.