Thank You 2024

What a hell of a year!

In fact, it has to be one of my biggest ever,

One year ago today I was a very different person,

I look back and see a stranger,

A woman so far behind me that I feel a decade must have passed.

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But, in truth, it’s only been a year,

So much has changed,

Nothing, absolutely nothing, has stayed the same,

I pinched myself this morning,

Just to check if I was real.

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Twelve months can change a person’s world,

I know! I lived it, I survived it,

I grew, I excelled, I became the woman you see before you today,

A woman that has done me proud,

A woman who discarded her old shell and found the courage to become someone new.

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One minute I’m a woman existing in a life that I didn’t plan,

One that I felt I was drowning in for so many years,

Treading water so to speak,

Existing — but definitely not living,

A woman locked away from the world, just trying to hang on to her sanity.

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Now, here she stands,

A woman who has stood the test of time,

One that no longer minces her words,

As authentically real as she’s ever been,

She’s finally come into her own.

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For what seems like forever, I was this woman that tried so hard to fit in,

I constantly tried to squeeze my square self into a round hole,

But no matter how much I tried, I didn’t fit,

I didn’t fit anywhere, I didn’t belong,

And my shoulders sagged with the heaviness of my shame.

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I existed, existed in the construct of a set of rules, obligations and responsibilities,

I lived as society dictated and I lived badly,

No matter what, I couldn’t get it right,

Life was so wrong, so set in its ways, and its rigidity was a burden that almost broke my back,

I struggled with the load.

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And then rolled in the year 2024,

A year that changed my life, my beliefs, my understanding,

It changed me,

It slammed me brutally until I finally accepted the truth,

My truth, that is! Not society’s.

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I lost so much,

Not just in the people I had to say goodbye to,

But I lost who I always thought I was, as much as I never liked that woman anyway,

I lost everything I was raised to believe in,

I lost me, or should I say, the woman I was always told I had to be.

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Now, I can stand in front of the mirror and I can smile,

This is a first for me,

Almost six decades I’ve lived in this skin, uncomfortably so,

Until now!

Now, I can finally love the skin I’m in.

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I will now speak my mind when wronged,

I will no longer lose sleep over what others think of me,

I will no longer be a doormat, a people pleaser,

I will no longer tolerate disrespect,

I will no longer suffer through senseless obligations.

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Do me wrong — you’ll either hear about it or notice my absence,

Lie to me — I’ll call you out,

Betray me — I’ll say goodbye,

Disrespect me — I’ll show you the door,

Turn your back on me — I’ll quietly disappear forever.

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But if I love you — I’ll love you with my entire heart,

Support me — I’ll have your back,

Need me — I’ll be there,

Befriend me — I’ll treasure you,

Respect me — I’ll appreciate you.

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2024 was a tough year,

A year of heartbreak, tears, pain, and emotional turmoil,

But it was also a year of growth, love, wisdom,

Tough decisions, painful goodbyes and incredible acceptance,

A year that ended in excitement, appreciation and heartfelt gratitude.

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It’s not a year I would wish on anyone,

Or a year I’d want to live again,

But it was the year I metamorphosed from my society induced cocoon,

Grew my wings, flew from the constricting societal nest,

And experienced true freedom to become the woman I was always meant to be.

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Thank you 2024, you gave as good as you got.