Tell Me About The Dream

You’re a mess of conflicting impulses - you’re greedy and vain but you don’t want to be like anyone else; you want to know why I’m confused - the truth is complicated, it’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet but you think I’m wasting my time delving in a limbo hoping to uncover something I don’t already know:

you want me on you, in you, through you

till there’s nothing left of you to chew;

you’re jealous of every mote of dust of every molecule trembling in the air that breathes life into and out of me

You want me to tell you about our mushrooms trip? All I do is keep seeing it through your eyes:

my blurred face as I am big and hard inside you

the art piece above the bed changing its shape as you think how you’ve never been fucked as good, how only I know how to fuck you;

your uncontrollable laughter that made you believe you can be fun and easy and the disappointment in you when you realized you couldn’t hold on to it so you’ve been craving to get high again but I’ve been vacationing in Colombia ever since

and a universe

of misunderstanding

spiraled between us

Doesn't matter.

We’re forever chasing our eternal self and what makes us seem the best version of ourselves - whether it’s people, nations, places, substances

Instead, you’re stuck in your old fuckless bed eating instant noodles, sweating.

Your hair is dirty and tangled but you don’t bother to brush it, your nails are chipped but you keep biting them frantically, you haven’t had a reason to shave in months, you’re looking after someone’s cat and the cat hates you

You feel so far away from your dream self, our Los Angeles escapades,

you turn your back on space-time; it’s bankruptcy, the human soul. Don’t give up just yet.. let me tell you first about how I remember our mushrooms trip:

your black lingerie set, encoding me in the mirror; it’s the first time in a long time I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and seen the right image of myself

my hands grabbing onto the black lace wrapped around you, wondering what it tastes like to hear you scream. Everyone needs a place and my place is in you